Setting Sun (mikey x reader)

-prologue : I-

(Reader P.O.V)

Momentary happiness, happiness has always been a visiting guest to me I've never accepted it neither am I adjusted to it, Ive learnt to accept the anguish it brings after every time interval. I stand under the clouds hoping for a shower, I want curtain my uncertainties, I want to drain these worries from my weeping heart. Every single day I find myself wandering around this shivering bridge perhaps it reminds me of myself, any sense of familiarity with anything inanimate is relief. But today was unusual it was unusually calm, the skies finally heard my prayer, it poured hard today the well ironed uniform submerged under the tears of the skies. I walked and walked and again I found myself standing in front of that bridge but today I walk towards it , now that I paid attention to it found it was quite a high bridge one could easily drown in the river if one may fall from this height. Perhaps this thought relaxed me, unusually this sense of burden bricked upon me, a person with a monochrome heart like me ought to feel one emotion at a time albeit today was unusual, I felt mixed emotions the inability to decipher my own self made me more helpless perhaps more hopeless than ever before. I had to come terms with myself ,there was nothing else I was capable of doing, being a disappointment is a lot of work, an emotionally unstable person like me is unable to communicate with others or with myself. I don't necessarily enjoy being bathe in rain what is so joy about getting your clothes all wet? But It's just this somber sense of dependency. As long it's raining, i know someone might be hearing me, might just cry on my behalf up there. I have a problem, a problem of giving value to inanimate objects or things. Remembering that, I place myself just beside the trembling bridge I take out something, I know it would fade away from the rain but perhaps one last time. It was nothing of much value that I would probably look at before I leave finally, it was a manga, a manga that's a friend, a best friend, a lover to me, sounds uncanny? It is. I bought this manga accidentally when I had first gone to buy another manga in its place however I haven't regretted buying it once. Tokyo revengers a story about a cry baby main character who time travels in order to save his ex- girlfriend and end up having to join a Gang ; Tokyo manji gang. I didn't connect with the story especially with the main character I thought he was a sore loser who could only cry at the littlest of hiccups but it wasn't until I saw him, sano Manjiro; the leader of this gang he was supposed to protect his girl from. It's just something I can't comprehend the sense of astronomical familiarity and relatability I feel with him, he is perhaps one of the most misunderstood characters in Tokyo revengers but apparently I understand him perhaps I'm the only one who can understand him. the pouring wanted to tell me something, something I didn't want to listen, No, something I couldn't hear not now , not until I meet him. What an idiot I am, even having the fragment of hope that I could probably meet him, he's a goddamn manga character, my chances of leading a happy life are higher than me ever meeting him. But maybe just maybe, I want to save him (in this timeline, the manga has a sad ending with mikey passing away). There is no reason for me to stay here any longer, I immediately stood up and angrily tossed the manga in the river, some things have to end this way. His end pained me more than I would have thought it would, his anguishing eyes have left me with a monochrome heart, maybe I see myself in him that at least I could save him, but that could only happen if I had written the manga myself. This sickening torment, self disgust, I have no sense of self preservation left there was never a need of me and never would be, I was made to be used , to be utterly ridiculed just to become a momentary subject of humour for other humans.

(TRIGGER WARNING : SU*C*DE)

I stood on the quivering railing of the bridge, it was just how I expected it to be I wasn't scared, I was relieved. Slowly I placed my foot in mid air, and a soft smile appeared on my face as I was now falling, it was all in slow motion but I couldn't stop thinking of him. Perhaps I could have saved you.