Chaos & Pleasure | ✔️

➠ 42 - KOL

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THE SECRETS ARE OUT

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Once Christian slams the door behind himself I feel my whole-body tense up. All my senses especially end up going on high alert when I take a good look at Christian's face. Is he mad?

"Chris," I drift off. "are you okay?"

"Who's Aiden Laneyard?" He says sternly.

His eyes are clearly holding so much anger and I feel my heart in my chest do a flip.

Being with Christian in a blissful relationship state was fun while it lasted. Clearly, I'm not meant to live a happy life.

"How did you find out about him?" I ask him as I try to calm my heartbeat and panicked breathing.

"Answer my question, Kol." He says, this time clearly less patient.

"He's a friend." I say and instantly regret it.

How am I so fucking stupid? Seriously, at this point I wouldn't be surprised if Christian breaks up with me right now.

"Friend?" He repeats the word back at me then shakes his head. "Well, I just paid your friend nine hundred dollars since that's how much you apparently owed him." I freeze at his words. "So, you want to cut straight to the point and fill me in on everything or do you want to play a "I have no idea" game?" He raises his voice at me. "This is the second time someone knows you better than me and I'm fucking tired of it."

His words cause my entire bodies safety gaurds to fall.

"Dammit Chris, I'm sorry." I shake my head and take a seat on his bed. "I'll tell you everything. Just give me a second."

I'' tell him everything. Even if me telling him everything may make him run away from me.

I go straight to the point and tell Christian about everything. From the reason I once owed Aiden 2k. To the reason why I basically jumped at the moment Violet said she wanted to go camping. To the reason why I've been working at my uncle's tattoo shop so much. To the fact that my step-dad is a raging piece of shit. To the fact that me and my mom slept in my uncle's house since I didn't want him near her. Lastly, I told him the reason why I'm so overprotective on Violet.

Once I'm done saying everything, I look at him and feel my stomach churn. He looks emotionless and remains silent for what feels like a fucking eternity.

After a few minutes he finally walks to me and gets on his knees right in front of me. "I'm sorry."

His reaction scares the shit out of me. Is this his way of breaking up with me?

"Christian." I say softly as I run a hand through his hair. "Are you okay?"

"No." He shakes his head. "I'm so fucking sorry Kol." He says as he wraps his arms around my thighs and lays his head on them.

His words and actions confuse me more than ever especially when I feel him tighten his hold on me only get stronger.

"Christian?" I ask softly to try to get his attention. "Why are you apologizing?"

"Because I wasn't the guy you needed me to be. I wasn't fucking there for you while you were going through all of this." I feel him once again tighten his hold on my thighs. "I was a fucking selfish kid, and I was stupid. I fucking cheated on you while you were going through all of that."

"Christian, it's okay." I try to get him to get up. "Please get up."

"No." He shakes his head and stays on his knees. "I don't fucking deserve you, Kol. I really fucking don't and I'm sorry for everything."

I know for a fact that his words are sincere since I can literally hear him cry. I can also feel the small wet stains in my pants that are staring to grow in size.

"Christian." I sigh. "It was my fault for always being afraid to speak up." I say as I make him look up at me. "Please get up and off of the floor."

He finally gets off of the floor but then instantly pushes me to lay on the bed and lays beside me. "I'm sorry for not being there for you." He says as he motions for me to lay on his chest.

"Don't be." I shake my head. "I'm a big boy. I handled it."

I try for my words to come out as a joke to lighten up the mood, but it doesn't seem to work. Christian just wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly.

"Is your step-dad in jail?" I hear him ask out of nowhere.

"Ummmm, not sure actually. He hasn't come home in a while but I'm still trying to do a restraining order to keep me and my mom safe." I say softly as I snuggle up into him.

"That's not enough." I hear him state as I begin to hear his heartbeat speed up.

I then hear him mumble a few things to himself.

"Me and my mom are fine, Christian. We'll be fine." I state as I try to get him to ease himself up.

"No, you're not fine and it is my job to make sure you do become fine." He says sternly and hear him sigh.

This is partial part of the reason why I didn't want Christian to find out any time soon. I knew he was going to get like this, I just had a feeling.

"We should probably go check on Violet." I say, completely trying to change the subject.

"We will." He says as I feel him kiss the top of my head. "But not yet, I just want to hold you right now."

I don't try to object nor complain. I know what I said to him was a lot and I know he's shocked. I lived it, not him. Yet he seemed to have understood me.

"I love you." He says softly as he puts his hand under my shirt and runs his hand down my back.

I shiver at the sensation of his hands on me. "I love you too." I whisper back at him

A/N
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