In Over His Head

Chapter 24

The little shop near London Bridge was the perfect place for Sharla to find some pretty British-themed tea towels for her mom, and as she paid for them and picked up the fancy paper bag, she spied several stunning Murano blown glass wine stoppers. Swirled shapes of purple, green, and blue, the metal bits sparkled in the overhead fluorescent lights. They would be perfect for Josh and Gretchen. She'd not gotten them a gift, and really should. She didn't have to pay for a flight over, after all. She'd said she was their gift as a joke, but... That seemed tacky in afterthought.

They were expensive, but they were beautiful, with the shade of purple reminding her of the grapes in the chandelier on the Ariadne. Her hand halted temporarily as she touched them, but then shook it off. She couldn't let memories like that derail her. Not today. She quickly chose three, praying her VISA went through, and stowed them in the bag with the towels once they were wrapped up.

She pushed back out into the sunshine determined to keep her mood light, and let go of the tension yesterday's almost kiss in the office had cranked around in her tummy. She'd wanted him to kiss her, but at the last minute, had backed away. She couldn't let him do that. It wasn't right to do that to him.

Not after everything.

She'd spent the morning walking the riverside with a coffee, then touring Southwark Cathedral. She'd never gone before, and as she walked towards London Bridge, she looked back at the building. The dark cobbles on the side of the church shone in the sun, and she took a few pictures of it to send to Benji. He loved cathedrals and churches. The older the better, he'd say.

It had been a peaceful interlude of sitting in various places inside the building, contemplating the stained glass, the sculptures burnished to a shine. A few times, she'd inexplicably turned to show Kevin something, forgetting he wasn't with her. He'd shown her around so many places in the two years she'd been in England that when she went somewhere on her own, it tracked funny inside her. Like something was missing. It also irritated her because she was the one that had put that wall between them, and they hadn't gone anywhere together except for work since fall. She was also not about to go anywhere with him today, given she'd pushed him away yet again.

So as she sat in a corner alcove in Southwark, the echoes of chairs and people shuffling across the polished floor surrounding her, she contemplated just that. Could she see past how she felt and let him go for good? Was it too late for her to walk back what she'd said and let herself believe they could be together, like what he wanted? What he'd said to her in France echoed in her head, what had happened at the Winemaker's association dinner still upset her when she thought about it, and she'd let out a silent tear or two. She hated feeling so helpless about herself, unable to act on feelings she knew were genuine.

Benji called her not five minutes after she sent the pictures to him, right as she made it to the bridge.

"Guess where I am!" he shouted into the phone. Wind was whipping past the speaker, and she pressed the phone to her ear, blocking the other one with her fingers.

"I can barely hear you, Ben!" she said.

"Toronto!" he shouted, and then the wind went away. "Whew, sorry, was out on the street to hail a cab and it is windy down near the water. You'll never guess who I ran into!"

"Just tell me, you ginormous nerd," Sharla said, smiling despite herself. He was in good spirits, and on Canadian soil. Maybe, just maybe he was going to see mom and dad, and she crossed her fingers as he laughed into the phone.

"Here," he said quickly, and then Gretchen said "Hey girl!"

Sharla let out a squeal and leaned across the side of the bridge. "Hey! What on earth are you doing with my brother?"