Precious [h.s.]

Chapter 53

Jesus Christ, I'm so blue all the time
And that's just how I feel
Always have and I always will
I always have and always will

I can't remember what I have just seen, or what I have just imagined, but I know that It has never been this hard to breathe. I just jumped out of bed, clutching my chest and taking deep breaths. I close my eyes and try to calm myself down from whatever generated this reaction from me. I don't know how long it passes until my breath stabilizes. I sit down on the bed with my feet dangling from the side of it when something shifts behind me. Someone.

"What are you doing? It's 2 am." I look at where the voice is coming from and see the man who I shouldn't be sleeping next to. I shouldn't be sleeping next to a stranger. I shouldn't be sleeping next to my husband because he shouldn't be my husband. He should have remained a stranger.

The puzzled expression on Michael's face tells me what he's thinking without needing him to open his mouth. He thinks I'm crazy.

"El, what happened?" I skip over the fact that he just called me a nickname I've never heard before because my mind is too foggy to take in information and process it, so I just shake my head and get out of bed, heading for the door. I feel like I'm suffocating in this room.

I stop in the hallway for a song and just look around this big, dark, and silent house, before going into the closest room—the library. I put just one foot inside when Michael appears behind me.

"What the hell happened? What are you doing? Get back to bed."

"I said that I'm fine. You can leave me alone."

"Then why the hell are you wandering around the house like a fucking ghost?" he whisper-yells at me, even though there's no one around to hear us. He grabs my wrist and starts walking toward the door.

"Why can't you leave me the fuck alone? I said I'm fine. You go back to sleep."

"Don't tell me what to do and stop acting like a baby."

"I'm acting like a baby? It seems like you are the one who can't sleep alone. What? Don't tell me you are afraid of the dark."

He raises his hand at me, but then he stops it mid-air. "C'mon. Hit me. There's no one around. Will that give you satisfaction?" I look up at him, and I can see the annoyance I provoked in his eyes. Instead of saying something back or insulting me, he just takes a breath and lets his hand down.

"Are you fucking mental or something?" he asks as if I've done anything remotely crazy.

"Yeah. Totally fucked in the head. What a shame you only found out. A bit too late." I smile and he shakes his head, turning his back away from me.

"Don't stay here all night. Get back to bed."

"Honestly, Michael, are you afraid of the monster under the bed? Is that what scares you? Do you need me-" he doesn't let me make fun of him any longer and gets out of the room, slamming the door.