Precious [h.s.]

Chapter 38

You're simply the best
Better than all the rest
Better than anyone
Anyone I ever met
I'm stuck on your heart
I hang on every word you say
Tear us apart? No, no
Baby, I would rather be dead

If I could get straight to the aftermath which I expect from this night out, I would. The primary reason I accepted my friend's invitation might be to get hammered, and I also might not feel bad that I'm not necessary here for them.

It's one of those moments when you want to let alcohol consume you. Maybe I should be concerned about this desire of mine, but everyone needs a moment when they just stop worrying and let the drinks guide their minds. I know it's a bad trick so that's why I don't make it a habit.

I've already had a few and that euphoric feeling is already taking control over my mind.

I don't know exactly why I crave this right now, but I think that it might be because I haven't truly felt it in a long time. When I was in college, what is happening tonight used to occur way more often and among alcohol there was also other stuff that I'm not glad I used.

I was reckless back then and I only now realize how foolish some of my actions were. I don't think there's anything that would make me that imprudent again.

"I'm single and ready to mingle, so tonight's gonna be fun," Niall says, most likely already drunk too.

"Since when are you single?" I ask him, not remembering that being mentioned to me.

"Since a long time ago."

"I didn't know that," I say, feeling a bit left out.

"Well, you haven't been around enough to know that."

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"Niall," Liam gets his attention, saying it like an indication.

"What Liam? We're just talking." He turns to him and it seems like they're having a conversation just by looking at each other. "You're always busy, apparently," he says, facing me again.

"I have a job." A shitty job I want to add, but I end up keeping this thought to myself.

At first, it was alright, I was even enjoying it, but now I'm close to quitting every day. It's not the job that's necessarily the problem, but I got bored of doing the same thing I don't even enjoy doing. I thought about just finding a new job, which I will eventually get bored of too, but that will at least be something different.

"Are you working 24/7?"

"No, of course not. That's a stupid question but-" I don't get to finish my sentence because Liam feels the need to take part in the conversation.

"But you're ignoring all of us - me, Niall, Olympia. She's been asking about you. You upset her."

"Olympia...," I mumble and roll my eyes, not wanting to think about her right now - or ever. "I'm here, aren't I?" I throw my hands in the air, not understanding what they want from me, "Is this not enough?"