TJ's Plan // Robert Downey Jr.

35- dissonance

TW: foul language, not wanting to spoil: but it's gonna get ugly

                   Robert's POV               

I woke up in pain, sweat dripping down my forehead, while TJ was lying next to me, her arm still holding my wrist.

I wanted to wake her up, but I knew she needed sleep, considering it was still 4 a.m when I looked at my watch. I carefully let go of her arm and tried to stand up, only to be met with a shooting pain. My left foot was bandaged, and my head was pounding. 

I had no idea what had happened the night before.

 I slowly walked, well, hopped my way to the bathroom, and when I passed the kitchen, I noticed a piece of glass lying around. I didn't hurt her....did I?

Even though the pain in my head was unbearable, and I wanted to groan out loud, I forced myself to go back to the bedroom to check on TJ. 

I sighed out of relief when I saw that she had no marks or anything, because I had a feeling that, due to my pounding head, I could have done something I didn't mean to. As I looked at her sleeping peacefully, I couldn't help but feel nothing but love for her, despite the fact that she had hurt me more than anyone else ever had. It's not that I forgot about my ex-wife, but TJ was something different. 

I gently stroked her cheek before planting a kiss on her forehead, and I couldn't help but smile as she murmured something in her sleep. With a heavy heart, I closed the door and went into the bathroom, my swollen face looking back at me in the mirror. Holy fuck. 

My promise of never touching alcohol was broken and  facepalmed in self-recrimination. I didn't want to think about what I had done the night before, but I desperately hoped that TJ would forgive me.

 
I turned the faucet on, attempting to wash away my worries as I splashed cold water on my face. I wanted to take a shower, but my bandaged foot prevented me. So instead, I awkwardly tried my best to get in the shower and keep my foot outside. The image was so funny, but I had no other choice. 

As I felt the hot water run down my body, I sighed and all of TJ's words the day before echoed in my head. I knew she didn't mean it, and I'd forgiven her, but her words had hurt. I was already worried about our age gap and when she had mentioned needing someone younger, it felt like something inside of me had broken. 

Not that I wasn't self-conscious, I mean, I still looked good for my age, I was only 34 and thriving, but an age gap of 15 years was...definitely something heavy. 

Deep down, I had always thought about TJ needing someone her age, so she could experience life differently. Going out to parties, doing all the things that a 19, almost 20-year-old would do. But here she was, stuck with me. 

An all-inclusive party with a free pregnancy. 

I couldn't help but feel bad for her. I wanted her to be able to experience all the things she was missing out on. I wanted her to be able to live her life to the fullest. But at the same time, I loved her way too much to let her go.

Just as I was about to ponder the different life TJ could have lived, the door suddenly opened and TJ burst in screaming. 

I couldn't help but scream back. Why am I always screaming.