My Point

19| Space

AMELIA MILLER

Sometimes, I wonder when things got so out of hand.

When did my life take the big turning point that just made everything turn to shit?

Sometimes I think that it was when my dad died, but maybe that's too simple. It could've been even earlier. Maybe it was when I started questioning everything.

There are so many possibilities, so many different answers to my question. At this point, I don't care when things went wrong. I just want to go back to how life was before then. I miss when things were simple.

I was now standing outside of the county jail, waiting for Nicky to be released. I decided to tell Jess that she should just stay home, she obliged. I told her that I needed to clear my head and the drive to the jail would give me the space to do so.

Damon must know better as he decided not to press charges, resulting in her release. I also had to pay to bail her out. She's only been in there for less than a day and it's brought nothing but worry to my mind.

I can't help but feel at fault for everything.

I mean, Nicky only hit him because of me. She only hates him because of me. Although she's the one who put her hands on Damon, I still feel like part of this is my fault.

I began looking up at the cotton candy skies only to see Nicky walking out of the doors when I looked back down. I watched as she made her way towards me. She's dressed in a black wife beater, black ripped jeans, and her leather jacket. While looking down I quickly found that her Converse were rid of their laces. Actually, those are my Converses. When our eyes met she immediately began flashing her guilty smile at me, however, I didn't return it.

Finally, I found her standing in front of me. I'm not sure what I'm feeling. Well, I can name a few feelings. However, I can't pinpoint just one. Am I angry at Nicky for getting arrested for me? Yes. Do I feel guilty? Yes. Do I feel completely overwhelmed? Also, yes.

"Hey Aims." Nicky looked down at me and smiled nervously, scratching the back of her neck. I didn't respond though.

I felt as if I was stuck. I couldn't move, suddenly I was stuck in a quicksand of my own. I couldn't even think about putting a stop to the tears that began welling up in my eyes. God, what is wrong with me?

"Aims?" I heard Nicky call out to me. She's standing right in front of me, yet she feels so far.

"Amelia? You're scaring me." she said.

"I-" I couldn't even get a full sentence out, I barely chocked out a sob before Nicky took me into her arms. She pulled me close to her chest with one arm around my waist her free hand rested on the back of my head.

A strange sense of freedom washed over me. I completely broke out in what felt like a never ending sob. My eyes were clouded as the tears invaded them. As the tears streamed down my face and the wind blew, I felt a cold glaze over my skin. I felt Nicky press a kiss to my forehead and heard her comfort me as I continued to break down.

"It's okay. I'm okay." Nicky rubbed my back and whispered each word in a calming tone.

"Why do you always have to go and save me?" I abruptly asked her, looking up at her through my lashes with tear stained cheeks.

"Aims, you're my best friend." she loosened her hold on my waist.

"Yeah, well, I don't see Jess beating up grown men because they try to kiss me." I said, wiping my tears away. Now I was done crying, I'd been filled with annoyance and anger.

"Cmon Aims don-"

"No. Tell me Nicks, why? Why do you go to the extremes to protect me? You don't owe me an-"

"Because I fucking love you, Aims. I'm honestly not sure how you don't understand that by now. We broke up only because that's what you wanted. I may have been with my fair share of people since then, but that was only to cover up that fact that I love you."

"Nicks, you know I love you too." I replied, taken aback by her words and immediately feeling bad for lashing out at her.

"I know, Aims. The difference is, you love me like a friend." she sighed before grabbing my car keys from my hand and climbed into the drivers seat. Normally, I would take the keys back, but her words were the only thing on my mind. 

If only she knew how I really felt.

About twenty minutes later, Nicky was still driving. The jail is pretty far from me and Jess' apartment building. The drive is about forty five minutes.

The silence balancing between Nicky and I isn't civil or comfortable as it usually is. It feels uncomfortable and unfamiliar. I hate being mad at Nicky or getting in any sort of disagreement whatsoever with her. I hate arguing in general. However, it seems to hurt more when it's with her.

I'm grateful for each and every time Nicky has stuck up for me. I love her for that. I just don't want her getting in trouble on my account. I think she feels accountable for me. I believe that me getting shot shifted something in her. She doesn't want me to get hurt again, which I understand. Maybe we just need space.

"Nicky." I called out.

"Hm." she answered while she rested her left arm on the car door and continued driving with her right hand.

"Do you think we need space?" I asked in a way that probably seems abrupt to her.

"What do you mean? I just got you back."

"I know, Nicks. I just- I feel like you need space from me." no matter how much she denies it, it's true. She barely left the hospital before I woke up. She worries so much and it's usually about me. Her continuing to worry so much about me might hurt whatever relationship we do have now.

"Aims, no-"

"Nicks, I already booked a flight."

"A flight? To where." she took her eyes off of the road for a split second before returning her attention to it.

"Colorado, Nicks. I'm going to spend so time with my mom and Ryan."

We just need some space.

1101 words ❤️‍🩹

A/N- Hello my lovelies 💞

Sounds like Amy is conflicted 🙃

I hope Aims and Nicky's relationship can survive this!

Alsooooo...

Thank you for 1K reads!!! I love y'all! Thank you for reading my story, voting, commenting etc.

& If you like this story and want more wlw content...Check out my new story "Adoring Animosity"!! It's an enemies to lovers wlw story. More chapters coming soon!

Thanks for reading ❤️

-defnottb 💋