Y/n and Conan met in Highschool, lived in the same neighborhood and quickly became close friends. Over time feelings changed and so did people...but someone try's to help them regain those feelings.
Read their story through lyrics!
This book takes...
I tapped my pen on the paper, strumming my guitar every once in a while. I was trying to figure out the last verse to a little song I was writing, it was simple but I really liked it. A little love song.
"Y/n, Conan, y'all's food is here" Lexi stood at my door with the bag of food, Conan going up to get it before we thanked her in unison. "what do you have so far?" He scooted closer to me as I read out the lyrics on the pages. "I still can't believe you're writing a love song" I scoffed. "I've written you plenty of love songs, where's mine huh?" I teased him. knowing Conan he was capable of writing a love song, for sure. He's probably just scared to.
"I'll finish it soon" I placed my guitar back on its stand, Conan opening his laptop as we ate on the bed. "you wanna go to mine tomorrow?" I shrugged, nodding shortly after. We've been going between his house and my apartment, back and and forth for the past week. When he goes to rehearsal I go with him or I just stay at his house.
Now that tour is starting soon he has rehearsal more often. I go but it's kinda boring so he understands if I just stay at his house and chill. He doesn't have any roommates, lives alone. I would never be able to do that. I need company at all times. Even if I'm not hanging out with Lexi, knowing that she's at least in the apartment gives me comfort.
I have a thing with being alone, now that I'm always surrounded by so many wonderful people I'm scared to lose them. Being alone for so long definitely did something to me, I hate it. I don't like letting people into my life. The more that are in it, the more that can just walk out of it.
***
I held my head low as I walked to my next class. I should've just skipped, but my attendance is getting bad so I sucked it up today. Class was the same, the teacher trying to get me to do my work as I just nodded. High school isn't for me, I don't even know why I'm still coming. I'm failing every single class...except music but I don't even do anything.
I arrived at the gloomy house, walking in before setting my bag on the couch. Smelled like smoke, burnt. I saw my mom by the kitchen, a cigarette in between her fingers. "I'll be home at 1, get yourself something to eat" she handed me a $10 bill before I walked up to my room. I pushed the dirty clothes off my bed, kicking off my shoes to lie down.
The blanket was like a hug, heavy on my body...warm, soft. I felt safe in my bed, no one could bother to get me out of it. So it was relaxing. No one was gonna come looking for me, with an apology or gift. No one cares...I guess I like it. I know if someone randomly tried to I wouldn't believe them, it's been in my head so long it's engraved in my skull.
My finger scrolled through my phone, stopping on a post with a familiar face. Conan, great. Just what I needed. There was a blonde girl beside him, hugging her tightly. She was beautiful, with blue eyes, and a slim body. I'm nothing like her. I wonder why Conan ever liked me. He always goes for people that look nothing to me. I know I shouldn't care, he goes through these people like they're nothing.
But I do care, and I always will. Maybe I could take it as a compliment. I'm not his type but I'm pretty enough to be enough for him. He was probably just holding out to find the opposite. I know I can't change myself for him. He's still not gonna love me how I loved him those couple of months. He loves people that give him attention, but I needed it too.
Tears filled my eyes, the drops of salty water landing on my lips and slipping off my nose. My lips quivered, hands over my mouth to stop any cries that wanted to escape. God, no. I shouldn't be crying over him. I don't mean anything to him anymore so that means I shouldn't care about him either.
I can't help it though, it's a habit. There's a little corner in my mind that has all our memories. A little locked box. I have an actual box too, I haven't gone through it in a long time and I don't think I will anytime soon either.
I picked myself up from the bed, standing in the mirror. I looked like a mess. It's been months since I actually got dressed up. I usually had nicer outfits, some occasional makeup but now I just look gross. I put my hair up into a clip. Sliding the loose hoodie off myself and changing into an oversized shirt. I took a look at the design, the girl in red had her hair messily around the desk, a headphone wire next to the pencil case.
Conan had gifted me it, it was the first piece of merch he had made. It's like he was haunting me. As much as I wanted him out of my mind he lived there. In my phone, in my closet. This house is haunted by his presence and it's gonna make me sick.
***
"You alright?" Conan moved the hair from out of my face, taking my chin in his fingers to look up at him. "I'm alright" "you sure?" "yes, I'm fine Conan" I squirmed out of his touch with a smile. I continued to type out emails on my laptop, something about a fitting for a talk show or something.
"You know y/n, in high school when I left for college and all of that, I always had the feeling to reach out to you" I closed the laptop to put all my attention on the boy beside me. "Yea?" "Mhm," he nodded. "Why didn't you?" He shrugged. "Scared I guess, of what you would've said" I shook my head lightly. "Maybe it's good you didn't, I was in a better place. I probably wasn't gonna wanna listen to anything you had to say"
"Ouch" I gave him a small glare. "That's when I started producing my songs, that's all I cared about. It actually made me pretty productive" he rested his head on my chest, my fingers twirling pieces of his brown curls. "You miss me when I left?" He held back a smile as he looked at me.
"No" his mouth went wide, a laugh escaping from my mouth. "How could you not miss me? I'm literally the best..." he went on, charming and complementing himself till I stopped him. "I did miss you, but I think I missed you more in a lover way more than anything else"
"Can't really tell, should I be... tryna take it as a compliment? It's kinda feelin' like the opposite"
A/n: Random 3am update! Little depressing flash back chapter!!! Tbh these are my favorites to write. Also I just realized in how long I haven't updated and I'm so sorry 😭 I'm kinda stuck and idrk where to take this book from here. Still thank y'all so much for reading! Love you sm :) <3
(also can we talk ab the fact that Conan got bangs? 😭 he looks so good)
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