𝘐 𝘜𝘚𝘌𝘋 𝘛𝘖 𝘛𝘏𝘐𝘕𝘒 𝘐 𝘊𝘖𝘜𝘓𝘋 𝘍𝘓𝘠 (Conan Gray x Fem! Reader)

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘦

Y/N'S POV

Hm...you know what. fuck it, you only live once.

I stared at the curly haired boy in front of me, soft lips and glossy eyes. It was like we were 15 again, talking up on a rooftop, blanket wrapped around us as we watched the sunset. We wouldn't tell Ashley, if we did she would tease us non-stop.

We were so close I could basically feel his soft breath on my face. He closed his eyes and so did I, leaning in closer as I lips barely brushed against each other.
"Y/n!! Y/n, can we talk please! I'm sorry for what I did, I shouldn't..." I wanted to scream, she really does ruin everything for me. "Fuck, sorry" I got up to open the door, Billie looking at me frantically with a bouquet of pink roses, a big one too. "Billie no, go away" I tried to close the door but she stuck her foot in the frame, making me sigh.

I closed the door behind us, leaning on the wall as she started to talk. "I can't lose you, I'm sorry" I didn't really pay attention to what she was saying, my mind only replaying what had happened earlier. If Billie didn't show up would he have actually kissed me? Would we still be kissing now?

I was frustrated, but I guess it's for the better. The chances of having whatever we had as teenagers are low, grossly low. "Are you even listening?" Billie sighed, tears coming from her eyes. I shook my head, asking her to leave. Surprisingly she did, giving me a little wave before she entered the elevator.

There goes a friendship of many years, down the drain. I guess I should've expected it, now my life is gonna be pure torture, thinking about her constantly. Not even in a romantic way, I just wanna reverse time by a couple months to where she was my best friend. And she was always there for me.

I packed up the rest of my thoughts, walking back into my apartment only to find Conan in his pjs, looking for movies on Netflix and a bowl of popcorn in his lap. "You did say if I wanted to come over for a sleepover" he shook the bowl gently. "Yea I did say that" I went upstairs to put on my pajamas, taking my stash of snacks down with me.

"Is that just in your room?" He laughed and I nodded. "Lexi hates when the snacks are out cause she says I'm tempting her" I scoffed, sharing my blanket with Conan. Thank god for this man, he's not making it awkward...yea just pretend like it never happened...

We were about half way into the movie, I wasn't paying attention and Conan was in his own little world, I don't think he was paying attention either. I can't just ignore it, but I don't wanna talk about it either. "Should we talk about it?" I mumbled, he turned to me, looking down. Upset maybe? I have no idea.

"If you want" I don't...but we should. "I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry" he shook his head, his light curls bouncing. "No, no it's mine I...I shouldn't have kissed back" I'm confused, I need time...? Did I like Conan this whole time?

"I started it, I'm stupid you two just broke up" we went back and forth arguing, both sides not really making sense but it's the thought that counted. Did he regret it? Do I? It wasn't a full kiss so technically....

"You know what it's whatever, here follow me" I grabbed his hand, taking out shared blanket and putting on my slippers. I brought us to the highest floor, unlocking the roof door with a spare key i had found months ago. "The view is nice huh?" I let go of his hand, sitting down, our feet dangling. Was this dangerous? Yea, but it's cute. We used to do this all the time and we never died so it's okay.

"Is this even safe?" "Come on I'm trying to be memorable" I swung the blanket over our shoulders as we waited for the sun to start setting. "This is a lot more dangerous than the places we used to do it" "it's all about taking risks" I shrugged.

"What if we fell?" I rolled my eyes. We're not gonna fall, we're gonna land in that balcony down there" "what if I fracture a bone?" I just smiled and shook my head.

After a couple more moments of silence. The sun started setting, finally... "why'd you bring me up here?" "Cause it's nice...and the movie was boring" "why'd you actually bring me here Y/n?" Oh yea I'm just gonna casually admit that I've been in love with you even in a relationship. I'm just gonna admit that every time I got into an argument with Billie I wanted to run to you...every single time.

"I'm gonna ask you something, but promise you'll tell the truth okay?" He fixed up his posture, nodding. "Uhm...if hypothetically speaking I was open...to a relationship" I cringed at my words, why am I using fancy words and why am I so nervous. "wouldyoumaybewanttogoout?" My words slipped out in one big breath. "Y/n, if you want to ask me then at least ask me correctly" he chuckled.

"I didn't like Billie, I mean I do- I mean did" I sighed. "I liked her as a friend...and I like someone else that's a friend. As not a friend" I closed my eyes before I said anything else. "That friend as in...me?" I nodded my head, looking back at him.

"I thought about you a lot, on tour and stuff, and when I saw you in the crowd I felt my heart drop...It wasn't a bad feeling it just made me anxious, I wanted to know what you thought of me. If you ever thought of me after Highschool...dumb stuff" he let out a little sigh, a smile meeting my eyes.

"I think about you, I always have...I was thinking about today...and yesterday and the day before that" I hid my smile...he thinks about me. "I missed you" "I missed you more" his smile lit me up...he's so cute.

"Are you sure Billie's not gonna try to kill me?" I shook my head, she deserves to think I was wanting to get with him, cause I was. I just didn't because I was a decent human being. She can try to bother me...but it won't work. I know her too well.

A/n: I UPDATED? WHAT? HELLOOOOO? Thank you cryingoverjigsaw for forcing me to update, you slay so hard. This book was tied to some not very good memories so I avoided it at all times! Lol anyways I realized how much y'all liked this book so I decided to do a little update, we'll see if I continue!