𝐝𝐞𝐣𝐚 𝐯𝐮, peter parker

xlviii. the beginning of the fall

chapter forty-eight
the beginning of the fall

    NINA DIDN'T leave her room. She didn't lock her window. She kept staring outside of it into the night. Her suitcase sat open on the motel bed━but she had barely packed everything back in. She was worried; so worried that she could barely breathe. Nina had started to get used to waiting for Spider-Man to return to her window ... but she supposed that after tonight, it was different. It was even different from when things started to change when he first got bitten. Now, she knew. Now, she understood. Now, she couldn't stop imagining the danger he was forced into, and the thought of how she knew he would return, bruised and broken━in pain and trying to stay strong for her ... she knew she had to wait, and she could do nothing to help. 

     Somehow, she wondered whether it had been better when he let her go without her knowing. The blissful ignorance she held, not knowing what was happening to him ... to help Spider-Man without knowing who was behind the mask━to know that it was her best friend ... that it was Peter. 

     But now ... now it was different. It was very different. 

     Nina glanced away from the window when she heard someone lightly knock on her open door. She pursed her lips when she met MJ's hesitant gaze. Ashamed and sheepish, she looked away and down at her scuffed shoes. She was still in her dress from the Opera. 

     Michelle Jones stood there in silence for a very awkward moment. Then, she stepped inside and closed the door. "Are ... you all right?"

     Nina nodded. Then, she shook her head. She took a deep breath━she still wouldn't meet her gaze again. "I━I'm sorry," she mumbled, upset. "I'm sorry you didn't know ... I just ... I didn't━I wanted you to know ... but it wasn't ..."

     "It wasn't your secret to tell," her friend nodded. 

     MJ swung her arms. Then, with a sigh she shuffled over and sat down on the edge of the bed beside her. There was another breath of silence. "I'm sorry, too," then said Michelle eventually. "I shouldn't ... it's not your fault. I just ..." 

      Nina nodded, "I know."

     Michelle took a deep breath. She fiddled with her slender fingers. Even though she hid it under loose-hanging curls and tried to deny it, Michelle Jones was very beautiful. She pursed her lips and shyly glanced at Nina at the same time she did. "I ... uh ..." she cleared her throat, linking her fingers and clutching them tight. "I didn't like not having friends."

     Nina stayed quiet, listening gently. MJ continued, muttering to her fingers: "I started high school, a━and my parents just divorced ... I didn't know anyone, and━and I told myself I didn't want to know anyone. But ... but you and Cia━you always sat near me in Literature. You guys were so close, and you would joke and whisper when the teacher told you to be quiet ... I remember thinking ... I wanted to be your friend so bad...

     "And ... and Felicia, she━" MJ flushed at the cheeks, "━she was super pretty. I thought she was super pretty... I just ... I wanted her to notice me. But I thought━I'm so weird. I'm so annoying and━and so me ... and she was so cool..."

     Nina realised slowly. Her brows lifted and a soft breath escaped her lips, "You ... you had a crush on Cia?"

     "When I figured it out..." mumbled Michelle Jones, pained. "When I figured out that she blipped, and that she was the Black Cat━when she found me in Venice and she saved my life, I thought ... I hoped that ... that ..."