Hearts We Mend To Break (Book I)

.32.

💫GISELLE💫

"How did I let this happen?" I had been crying in my room for hours. After saying goodbye to Aaron, the Sunday following Loki's party, I was finally able to release the misery and pain trapped behind my Hollywood smile. As far as he knew, it was over between us, but he had some weird idea that he still had a chance to win me back. Isn't that ridiculous? What human being, in their right mind, compares the love and affection of a woman to that of some monetary valued prize possession?

"It's ok, Giselle. It's not like he knows what happened." Maxine tried comforting me. Nothing she said worked.

I burst into tears again. "I'm a whore! I'm a worthless whore and I don't deserve him."

"You're not a whore." Sevyn rolled her eyes. "Although—Angel had you howling like a world class slut." She stopped to laugh. "We all heard it. It was loud. You don't even have to tell him. He already knows you cheated once. And you broke it off before you did it. So "

"Sevyn!" Max slapped her across the back of her arm. I wailed.

For days, I missed class. I was sick to my stomach, disgusted with the behavior I displayed over the weekend. With a plan strategically drawn out, I came to college with so many other accomplishments on my mind. I aimed for growth and self-sufficiency. How could I go in the complete opposite direction with regret as my sidekick and dread as my right-hand man? So many different emotions gushed through my body as I recounted every mistake and bad choice I made. I hadn't seen Angel since. I hadn't called him. Although I thought of him often, all I could fathom was the idea of my entire life taking a giant leap into a pit of destruction. Self-destruction.

"All bull crap aside. You've gotta come to biology today. We have a test."

"I can't."

"It doesn't matter, Giselle. You have to or you'll fail."

"She's right. You know what's worse than turning into a freshman whore? Becoming a failing freshman whore. At least whore intelligently." The smug look on Maxine's face made me want to slap her, but who was I kidding? I didn't have a confrontational bone in my body.

"If I go to biology, I'll have to look at him for almost two hours."

"Just look the other way. He does it." Sevyn had a point. Once it had been brought to my attention, Angel had looked the other way all week. I may not have talked to him, but he also didn't talk to me. I may not have looked his way, but he also hadn't looked mine. Did he at least think of me?

Despite the urge to continuously hide in my room, I got up and headed to class with the girls. My first class, Anatomy, I sat in the front row, knowing that I'd never have to look at Angel from that position. I pulled out my recorder and notebook, and I focused on the lecture. Even though time went at the sluggish pace of a snail, I managed as best I could to remain calm and maintain the little sanity I had left. Biology, on the other hand, didn't go so well. I spent too much time talking on the phone with my mother, causing me to walk into class far too late to have good options on where I'd sit. Angel was there, dead center, in my usual spot. Anxiety surged every limb, sending tingling sensations throughout as the heat of shame flamed my cheeks. I didn't look long, lowering my head and eyes to the ground in front of me.

"Come on. I have seats for us." Sevyn grabbed my hand and dragged me up a few stairs and down the seventh isle. Good, we'd be behind him. Not so good, I'd be able to stare right at him without him noticing.