The Mechanical Muse

Chapter 5 (Part 1)

I came back to my dorm Tuesday afternoon from class to hear Valdez and Lucy in my room again—I knocked twice, out of habit, and entered when nobody responded. Valdez was sitting on his bed and Lucy on mine, and didn't pause their conversation when I entered; Valdez only gestured for me to sit down in his chair.

"OK, I think we have the script down. Should we see what Project Narcissus has to say?" Valdez asked Lucy, who nodded and began typing furiously at her laptop. "Oh, Chris is here. Tell me what you think of this."

"Think of what?"

"This video," Lucy said, and I rolled Valdez's chair closer to my bed (I didn't feel like quibbling about personal property then) to take a look. There was a shaky cellphone video in someone's apartment, or perhaps a frat house, with dim purple lighting and EDM with indiscernible vocals. The guests held red Solo cups and undulated hypnotically to the beat; there were some definite violations of personal space going on. In the foreground, like the guests had parted like the Red Sea to give them the stage, this burly kid I didn't recognize danced by himself for a few seconds before Lucy walked up to him, holding her own cup.

"Hey," she asked in a low tone, "wanna make out?"

"Of course," the burly kid said, and he and Lucy threw their cups to the ground, their contents spilling and intermingling, and began passionately kissing. I turned to Lucy blankly. She beamed, the first time I'd seen her smile so authentically, clearly proud of her work.

"What is this? A skit? Who is this guy?" I asked, unsure if I wanted the answer.

"That guy is Jose Escamillo, SCU's star running back, and he has four guest tickets to this Saturday's football game," Valdez explained. "To be more precise, he has four guest tickets he's going to give us. Cassandra's free Saturday, right?"

"I haven't asked, but stop changing the topic. When was this party? How did you get this video?"

Valdez and Lucy laughed in unison, harmoniously. "This was Saturday—neither of us were there, but Jose was there, and Jose has a tendency of getting drunk at parties and forgetting what happened. Who knows what could have happened there? Lucy, do you remember Jose making out with you?"

Lucy nodded and smirked. "Of course I do. If the video says I was there making out with a guy, how could I not remember? I remember I was wearing that black leather jacket and that fiery red lipstick... look: skip ahead to the end of the video as I sashay away, and you can see it on his face. And you see him licking his lips? He couldn't get enough of me. He can deny it all he wants, but the video doesn't lie."

"So what? He made out with a girl at a party, drunk, not the classiest act, but in the heat of the moment he lost control. Who cares?"

"His girlfriend will," Valdez interjected. "So here's the story: Jose and Michaela have been sweethearts since freshman year. They're inseparable: Jose's always hyping up Michaela to everyone, talking about how they're going to get married someday. He's the purest, most innocent guy you've ever met. Even when he gets drunk, he doesn't make a move on anyone, and nobody makes a move on him: it's the honor code. He would never dare betray Michaela."

"Until now," Lucy said with a fiendish grin.

"That's immoral! It's a crime! I didn't feel bad about telling a few white lies on my Eros profile, but this is going to devastate him. And you're fine with this, Lucy?" I asked. I searched their faces for empathy but only saw pride.

"I'm just acting," she said with a shrug.

"A crime of passion isn't a crime, my man," Valdez continued. "And it didn't happen, so he's still innocent. So here's the scheme: we send this video to him, telling him that if he doesn't give us his four free premium tickets, this video gets posted on social media. He can't prove he didn't kiss her, and no matter how much his word is worth, I don't think anyone will give him the benefit of the doubt. It's the easier move for him to give us the tickets. And then, you, me, Lucy, Cassandra, we'll enjoy the game of the semester. Are you in? Well of course you're in—you don't need to do anything but fill the now-empty seats."