to the ends of the earth || ellie williams (book one)

thirty nine

The moonlight shone through the little circular window in the bedding area, casting a ghostly glow over the white sheets, bathing them in a blue-ish light. The sound of the softly chirping crickets echoed through the slightly opened window.

Ellie's fingertips danced on my stomach, tracing delicate patterns and intricate swirls against my exposed skin. Her eyes remained on me as I watched her hands, I didn't know if she was aware that I could feel her gaze like a thousand suns - or whether she was aware and that she just didn't care.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" I asked quietly, turning my face to look her in the eye.

"I don't know," She sighed, her eyes scanning the room as she got lost in her thoughts.

"It hurt really bad, Ellie. I— I nearly died for you,"

"I know, Char. It was never you,"

"You should've brought me with you... or at least told me where you were going,"

"I needed to be alone, don't you understand?" She asked before softening her tone, "I just needed to be alone."

"And what about what I needed? Did that not matter to you?" I responded as I perched myself up on my elbows, "You didn't even say goodbye after the funeral. You left as if nothing mattered, as if everything we'd been through together wasn't real. I loved you, Ellie."

"Loved?" She mumbled shakily.

"Love, loved, whatever. It doesn't matter now, does it? You're still not ready,"

A knock at the door interrupted our conversation. Our eyes locked as the frantic knocking failed to silence. Ellie pulled her sweater over her head and began to climb down the ladder, grabbing her knife as she approached the door and swung it open.

"Ellie," Tommy sighed, pushing past her to enter in a panicked haze, "I've got something for you."

"Woah, slow down. What're you doing here?" She asked as I began to lower myself to the floor.

Tommy greeted me with a subtle nod before turning back to Ellie to say, "I've got her. I know where Abby is."

"Tommy—" Ellie began.

"I've been putting out feelers for months now. And this new guy heard my story, told me about a woman that he traded with while he was moving through California. Described her as built like an ox, traveling with a kid with scars across his face," He explained, pulling his map from his bag before continuing, "He said they were living along this coast in the beached sailboat. Right here. That's got to be her."

"No. We're done with this," I interjected, standing by Ellie's side and snaking my hand around her waist.

Her body went rigid as if she didn't recognise my touch. I pulled my arm away, studying her distant expression as she folded her arms over her chest.

"I'm sorry but—"

"Ellie, I can't go..." He sighed.

"I know."

"All right..." Tommy chuckled dryly, "Reckon it's easy to forget about her when you're sitting all comfy way out there—"

"Hey!" I objected, stepping between them both and pressing a hand to Tommy's chest, "You need to go now."

""I'll make her pay." That's what you said when we got back to Jackson. What a joke," He spat as he turned his heels to charge towards the door.

I was overcome by rage as I began to storm after him, spinning him around and pulling my fist back before allowing it to spring back to connect with his cheek. He staggered backwards, gripping his cheek as he looked to me with wide eyes.

"Listen here. She's discarded you before and she'll do it again, go home and leave her alone. Don't get yourself hurt all over again," He muttered coldly before disappearing back into the woods.

I collapsed on the steps of the porch, hugging my knees as I looked out to the forest. The moon was still high in the sky, it couldn't have been any later than 2 or 3. I watched the stars, watched the way they twinkled softly when they caught light. Footsteps behind me alerted me to Ellie's presence as she took a seat beside me, resting her hand on my thigh before taking a deep breath.

"You're gonna go, aren't you?" I asked.

She paused for a moment, her eyes lingering on me before she started to gently nod her head. I felt as though my heart was breaking all over again. I felt hopeless, as if this'd never be over until she got herself killed. I still lost sleep over Seattle, it changed her in more ways than one. I watched the person I loved be broken and beaten down into a shell and now I was going to have to watch it all over again.

"I'm sorry... but I made a promise," She sighed.

"And what about the promises you made to me, Ellie? Do I not matter to you?"

"Of course you matter to me," She scoffed, "But I have to do this."

I nodded my head slowly before resting it on her shoulder, wrapping my arms around hers before letting go of the breath I didn't even notice I was holding in. She laid her head on top of mine, kissing it softly before looking out to the stars.

"We have to do this," I whispered, "Both of us."

"No," She objected, pulling away from me to look me in the eye, "Not again."

"I wasn't asking," I said, shaking my head, "I made you a promise a long time ago... that I'd always follow you."

"To the very ends of the earth," She recited, "God, you're persistent, aren't you?"

"Yeah, well, there's a shortage of sexy, vengeful, tattooed lesbians in the safe zone and I'd like to keep a hold of mine," I shrugged monotonously.

Ellie stared blankly at me for a few seconds before a smile began to tug at the corner of her lips, her nose began to scrunch and all of a sudden, the most joyous laughter I'd heard from her since we were kids erupted from deep within her stomach. She threw her head back, gripping her tummy as she chuckled.

"How did I get so lucky having such a persistent stalker as a girlfriend?" She asked.

"You'll be asking yourself that same question for the rest of your life," I sighed, pulling myself to my feet and holding my hand out for her to grab, "If we're setting off tomorrow, we need to get some rest."

She nodded her head and grabbed my hand, pulling herself up to head back inside.

I saw little point in convincing. I knew that there was no point. I could beg and plead on my knees for her not to go and she still would. All that mattered to me was that she didn't go alone, as long as I was by her side, in this life or the next, I could find contentment. That's the promise I made a long time ago, and the promise I intended to keep until I took my very last breath.