Our Forever (BILLIE EILISH)

- F o u r -

August 21st.

Maddie's POV:

Yesterday Billie, Kenzie, and I met with different wedding planners, and Billie and I didn't come to a decision. I can tell something is bothering her, but something in me is just telling me not to press her and if she wants to tell me, she will.

Today I have a meeting with Claudia and someone from Spotify, Claudia and I are starting a podcast that's a Spotify original. I'm really excited to be doing this with her. Claudia is coming in about an hour or so and I'm sitting with Holden in my glam room, I haven't seen Holden since his birthday party. Which was amazing by the way, Kenzie should really be a party planner, maybe I can get her into that field so I won't feel as bad demoting her.

I shouldn't even feel bad, she literally told Holden that I was a money sign and that London was the better call. And me? I feel bad about what I have to do about it. 

Billie got Holden this customized jacket that he hasn't taken off, I don't blame him, it's a sick jacket. I got him some staple jewelry pieces as he's really into jewelry, he just doesn't know where to start with it.

Holden: "I feel like this is all we talk about now, but you need to tell Kenzie."

Maddie: "I know, I know. It's just difficult, and I hate the whole situation and I wish it never happened. I wish I never even went on tour and I wish I went to London just to make Kenzie happy."

Holden: "Woah, rewind. I know you don't mean that. You had the time of your life on tour, and you would've been miserable in London."

Maddie: "Kenzie was my ride or die, and I don't wanna lose her, so I wish this never happened and I wish I wasn't so love-struck by Billie to where I could actually make my own choices." 

Holden: "You are your own person, you do make your own choices. You just value those around you and you value what they think and I don't blame you. You have your solid four people and you don't wanna disappoint anyone, but at the end of the day, you gotta do what makes you happy. And touring with Billie made you happy, so I wouldn't look at it as a regret."

I just looked at him, I don't make eye contact with Holden a lot just because eye contact intimidates me with people. I can see a look of hurt and conflict in his eyes, I hate that this situation is affecting everyone in my life.

Maddie: "I love you and all but, why are you spending so much time with me and not Kenzie?"

Holden: "I'm scared that if I spend too much time with her, then she's going to say something else about you and I don't wanna be around for that. I hate the way she talked about you, I defended you when that conversation happened. I've been distant from her yeah, you're literally my best friend, and the love I have for you is, deep, and hearing her talk about someone that I love kinda put me off a little bit."

Maddie: "Are you still in love with her?" 

Holden: "Of course, she is my first love. I love her more than anything. I just wish things played out a little differently."

Maddie: "I hate that I affected your relationship with her."

Holden: "Please stop blaming yourself, you didn't do shit I promise you. Kenzie did that shit to herself, she's the one that said what she said. She just shouldn't have that about you."

My phone dinged.

Kenzie 🌵

Did you and Bil come to a decision on the wedding planner?

She's writing her album, I haven't spoken to her about it. 

No rush, just wanted to know.