The Player, The Game

Chapter 10

Wendy and I walked in the corridor together, looking for something interesting. We didn't know what we were looking for, but I liked her. She was calm, and I felt like I could tell her my deepest darkest secrets and she'd keep them easily. She was honest and straightforward with me, and I respected that about her. I told her my "life story" as we walked, and she listened intently. She told me exactly what I needed to hear about the Tyler and Stacey situation, and told me that I was doing the right thing by changing and stopping being the shy person whom everyone walked over.

"Just be your true self." She told me.

And I would. But the truth was, underneath all of my newfound confidence, I was still scared. I was really really scared.

As we continued walking past classroom after classroom, we ran into Diego.

Next to him, was a lean tall boy. He had very light caramel skin, and dark, dark brown eyes that looked black. His hair was cut short and was a dark shade of brown like his almost black eyes.

He looked pretty average.

"Hey guys!" Diego smiled that smile at us.

"This is my boy Trey." He introduced.

"That sounds gay dude..." Trey laughed, showing a big, bright smile as he did so.

"Shut up! Hahaha!...and this is Layla." Diego gestured to me.
Trey, Diego and Wendy seemed to already have known each other for years. I would have felt out of place if I was the old me.

"Hi Trey." I smiled, trying to be friendly.

"Hello." He said to me.

Nothing special.

But that was only the first day.

*

I suppose it didn't take me that long to figure things out. But it felt long, and I felt pretty clueless...

3 Months later

I'm lying on my wooden reclining chair on my balcony, listening to the birds that tweet in the dark early morning sky. My eyes are still closed. The sound of the ocean crashing against the shore, and the blanket I have wrapped around my body, up to my chin, is very comforting. Although, I couldn't keep the nagging question out of my mind.

I slowly opened my eyes, and turned to my right. Trey lay on the reclining chair next to me, his eyes closed. If this were any other day in the past, I would have not been looking at him; I'd just go back to sleep. But this was now. And I was too far gone. I had already thought too much.

Wendy lay to my right, and Diego next to Trey. Over the last couple of months, we had become the closest of friends. I loved them, and I trusted them. But over the last three months, I had also grown closest to the one I had never thought I would - Trey. Oh, how normal that name used to sound to me, how natural and friendly it used to sound! Now his name brings on confusion in my heart.

Trey and I used to talk, a lot. About the stupidest things. And, he dissed me, a lot too. I dissed him back. We were in a loop where he and I had become simple, secret best friends, and I only stood back to look at this loop now. The nagging question still grazed the back of my mind.

Could you? Do you? Is it possible?

I looked at my hand, still intertwined in his. He had held my hand last night, until we fell asleep. Knowing Trey, this had meant nothing serious to him. He trusted me and I was his best friend, so he just held my hand. No big deal.

But his touch against mine made me repeat the question over and over again, it made me overthink and ask myself over and over again...

Why does his hand feel so good on mine? .....Do I have hidden feelings for Trey? .....Have I had them all along without realizing?

Or am I just desperate now more than ever for something I could never have...
Love?