I keep having this dream. It's one of those dreams where you look exactly the same as you do now, but somehow you just know you're older.
Lonelier.
I'm at an airport in between shows and I break away from the guys to get a coffee, again, somehow I just know this is my routine. I don't feel like getting teased by my bandmates for my order: grande w/soymilk and a couple of extra shots of Splenda. No matter how many times I tell them I have a sensitive stomach, they just insist on calling me "soft". Whatever.
While I'm waiting for my drink I hear a familiar voice ordering, coincidentally, my same exact order. I turn around and it's Caroline.
She's in her military updo, hat tucked under her arm, hair pulled away from her face. It makes her eyes more prominent, brown pools seeping into wounds I thought had closed long ago.
After we get our drinks from the barista we catch up like old...friends. She tells me that she had to cancel and reschedule her flight due to a mix-up with her vaccination status.
And I just listen to her talk.
About people, the ones she dislikes, misses, and wants to meet. I enjoy listening. During a pause, she asks me when was the last time I was home, when I tell her I haven't been back I know she understands. It's a place we both don't like, it's the people who made it bearable.
We just sit there, and I feel good, better. A nice break from the heroin and Xanax-filled atmospheres I frequent with the band.
She gets a call, and I step away for a Newport break to give her some privacy. When I get back she's gone. Completely vanished without a trace.
Then I wish I hadn't just listened. That I hadn't let my ego get in the way of telling her everything I've ever felt about her, how I feel.
In the mix of doubt, thoughts racing, and inklings of solutions,
I wake up.
-Jade
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OMGEEEE I'm so so sorry for the late update, I've been swamped with assignments and trying to work ahead because I have surgery next week! But just because I love y'all I'm gonna do a double update!
don't be a stranger, like, vote, and comment I WANNA KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS!
-Kaylaa'
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somethin' bout the weather
القصة القصيرةthe only time i feel i might get better is when we are together... It may sound a little silly, and I know we certainly didn't think it at the moment, but in retrospect, we were all in love. The four of us were completely enthralled in each other. B...
