The Devil Who Wears My Eyes

27 : The Wedding Day

Everybody else is so busy and each one seems to not give a damn about my existence. Lahat sila ay abala sapagkat ngayon na ang araw ng kasal. Nag-aayos at naghahanda na dahil papunta na sa simbahan ang lahat.

I feel pathetic inside my room. Alam na alam kong lahat sila sa labas ay masaya sa nangyayari. Even Nanay Meera isn't here because it is Ranz's graduation day. Mamaya-maya ko rin balak na pumunta sa bahay nina Nanay Meera para i-congratulate si Ranz kahit na nga tutol si Nanay Meera roon dahil kasal ngayon ni Daddy at ni Mommy Kayla.

I remain feeling pathetic inside. Wala akong balak na lumabas hangga't hindi ko nararamdamang umalis na silang lahat. I am furious. Today is the day, yet I haven't killed Tito Jeremy yet. How and when can I do it, I still do not know. Basta ang alam ko lang, gusto kong mawala na siya ngayon sa mundo.

"I didn’t say that you cannot borrow it, Ariella. You even got it without my permission. How did you do that...hindi ko rin alam. Basta ang alam ko, you can command it. The borrowing of my eyes...just like how weak I am when your lust summons me."

Naririnig ko pa rin ang mahinang pagtawa ni Leopold kagabi. Ang mga makahulugan at palaisipan niyang mga sinabi. It is confirmed that I can really borrow his sight, how and why...I do not know. But I know I was able to see when I was losing consciousness.

Does it mean I need to lose consciousness while killing Tito Jeremy? But how can I kill him when I am losing my consciousness at the same time?

Nakakabaliw. Nakakainis. Wala na akong maisip na gagawin hanggang sa may kumatok sa pintuan at mayamaya pa ay narinig ko ang pagbukas noon. It was locked but whoever knocked on my door has keys. Maaaring si Nanay Meera o si Daddy but the chances of Daddy being it is higher. And so, I expected him.

"Ariella, anak..."

I was right. Nang maupo siya sa gilid ng kama ay ramdam ko na agad ang kaba niya at pag-aalangan.

"Hindi kita pipiliting pumunta sa simbahan. I know...this is hard for you, too. Mahal na mahal kita pero mahal ko rin ang Mommy Kayla mo. Nagmamahalan kami-"

I chuckled. "Don't ever get me started with the love shits. Nagmamahalan din kayo ni Mama noon, and guess what?"

"Anak,"

"Just..." I heaved a sigh. "Pagod na pagod na ako, Dad. Just leave and marry her. I want to be alone. You living with her in another house might be a better choice."

"Anak-"

"Just leave, Dad! Hindi ko na nga pinipigilan ang kasal na 'to, 'di ba?" I hissed. Nag-umpisa na rin akong mainis kaya naman natatawa na lang ako nang mapakla. "Too many people and their noise inside my house is not always a good idea."

He heaved a sigh. Mayamaya rin ay tumayo na at agad kong namalayan ang paghalik niya sa noo ko kasunod ang pagyakap niya sa akin.

"You're always going to be my baby, anak. I love you."

Hindi muna ako nakasagot ngunit nakahuma rin naman mayamaya lamang.

"I love you. And I am sorry."

Hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan ang sakop ng sorry na iyon ngunit alam kong hindi lang dahil sa alitan namin. It might be because I will have to do something that is not forgivable in anyone's eyes. Ayaw kong kamuhian niya ako ngunit hindi iyon imposible. His blind and innocent daughter...killing her adopted uncle might not be a good headline and spotlight on his wedding day.

"I'll call on an uber para ihatid ka kina Manang Meera. Pupunta ka sa graduation ni Ranz, hindi ba?"

I wasn't so sure if he is calm or tired, but either way it is so uncommon for him to agree on my decisions, let alone the fact that I am choosing my nanny's son's graduation rather than his own marriage. It is as if I am not his daughter for me to decide which is more important to attend to. Mamaya pa naman iyon. Hapon pa ako pinapapunta ni Nanay Meera sa kanilang bahay para nagcelebrate. I can't just barge into their school. Baka imbes na sumaya si Nanay Meera ay maging abala pa ako.

"Alright, anak. We'll get going. Baka mahuli na kami sa simbahan. I love you."

Iyon lamang at saka narinig ko na ang pagsara ng pintuan. Doon lang ako nakahinga nang mas maayos ngunit mas mabigat na ang pakiramdam ko. Daddy is ready to leave me now. He already left. Why and how I am grieving right now, I could not understand it fully. This is partly my fault for being so prideful. Wala na akong magagawa kaya naman nanatili na lang ako sa kwarto ko. Ni hindi umaalis, ni hindi umiiyak. Pagod na siguro ang lahat sa akin.

This is probably the last day that Tito Jeremy and all the people in my house will be here. This is my last chance to do it. But how?

I heaved a deep sigh. Mayamaya pa ay narinig ko ang muling pagbubukas ng kwarto at akala ko ay si Daddy iyong muli na may naiwan at nakalimutan lamang na sabihin sa akin ngunit hindi pala.

Tito Jeremy.

"Ah, Ariella. Napakaswerte mo dahil tayong dalawa na lang sa bahay na ito. Umalis na ang lahat. Kinausap ko ang Daddy mo na ako na ang magbabantay sa iyo dahil hindi ka pwedeng iwanan mag-isa. Am I a genius?" Pag-uumpisa pa. "Now, we can freely play. Ariella, this is your last chance to play with me again kasi aalis na ako mamayang gabi. Hindi ka ba manghihinayang?"

I heard his chuckle but the laugh I have inside my mind is louder. He just told me he wanted to play, and that play isn't just a play. We both know he will take advantage of me again. But that did not matter as I held a knife behind my pillow.

I'll never let you play with me again.