Slowly learning that life is okay (GirlxGirl) [COMPLETE]

Dina - Slowly learning that life is okay

"Did you get any college letters yet?" Dina asks, crossing her arms over the countertop, eyes following Ellie's movements.

"Nope. You?" She looks over her shoulder at Dina, but she shakes her head.

"Jesse hasn't either. My sister says we're too early, but aren't we supposed to enroll in May?"

"Maybe the mailman is stuck in the snow," Ellie says, voice a little tense. They can't not receive a letter. "I mean, it's been snowing quite a lot since your birthday."

It has, enough that sometimes Dina doesn't drive to school, instead waking up earlier to walk to it, all bundled up but somehow still cold. Makes excellent weather to sit beside Ellie and play videogames or watch movies, or even study on her bed, but it is obviously terrible weather to deliver mail.

Dina could see Ellie's brain turning inside her head, overthinking. Her movements faster, but still precise. Was she worried she wouldn't get any letters? Or that they wouldn't be in the same colleges, or even close enough? Could they make long distance work?

Thinking about leaving Ellie behind made her heart heavy. She knew Ellie would get a letter - she was too smart, no college would ever decline her - but what if they can't be together? Dina wasn't really ready to break up, to leave the one who finally noticed she'd been flirting with her after all this time. To leave Ellie, who became one of her closest friends, and now, girlfriend.

"Hey," she touches Ellie's back with a soft hand, "everything will be okay."

Ellie hands her a plate, and they go sit together again in the living room, notebooks getting not so carefully splayed around the coffee table and the sofa, gossipping about Mr. Moore and the other teachers. Homework was being done anyway.

But the idea of being separated didn't leave their minds. The anxiety of the letter coming - or rather, not arriving - was eating them alive, acting like a cloud over their heads, looming, an ever present reminder of the uncertainty of their futures.

Dina didn't want to ask what they would do if the letter didn't come, if it came for one of them, if it came for both, but from different colleges. So she focused alongside Ellie on their English essays, the Math lists and Chemistry exercises, chewing on the sandwich Ellie made her.

"Hey, Ellie," she starts, looking out the window, "it's getting late, maybe I should go home."

"Oh shit," she raises her head from the book she's been reading, "are you sure? You can always sleep here."

The clink of keys getting turned on the other side of the door stops their conversation, and a set of heads look up at Joel as he walks past the threshold, backpack still on a small pile of envelopes in his hand.

"College letters for you, kiddo," he says, putting his keys down and extending his arm out for Ellie to run and practically jump at his hand for them, "you opening them now?"

But Ellie only holds them in her hand for a second, then looks up at them, green eyes anxious with all the questions they didn't voice. There's a question in them too: 'do you want me to wait so we can open them together?'

But Dina shakes her head, heart pounding on her chest like she's running that final for the track team again. Her hands are sweaty, nervous like she was the first time she kissed Ellie. She watched Ellie's slim hands turn the envelope, and finally open the first letter.

The silence was tense, full of expectation. Dina wanted to come beside Ellie and read it with her, but she sat at the coffee table, watching Ellie's eyes run down the letter, a muscle on her face twitch.

"So...?" She heard herself saying, the suspense too much for her.

Ellie's face was somber, too serious. It worried her. Did they reject her application? She obviously could try again next year. And there was still some envelopes in her hand...

"First one is a yes," she says, a smug smile creeping up her face, making Dina jump up, hit her arm and then hug her.

"You stupid! You scared me with that serious face," she says to her neck, and Ellie only laughs.

"I know. Your face was priceless."

"I hate you," she says.

"Liar," Ellie says, and she fails at keeping a straight face.

"Congratulations, kiddo," Joel says, slapping her shoulder with a proud hand. "You received yours yet, Dina?"

She shakes her head, but before any worried thought can get inside her head, Ellie turns back to her, green eyes clear and excited, "you gotta run back home, they must have delivered yours too."

We need to know if we'll be together hung in the air.

And so she kissed Ellie's cheek, waved at Joel and ran back home, shoes sliding in the ice, catching herself in the cafe on the corner of the street. Her heart was beating fast, not only because of the running, but from anticipation. She knew she would be accepted, she only hoped they could study together.

Her mother's car was still not there.

Dina walked over to the mailbox, breath condensating in front of her face. The metal was cold, even through her gloves, and she hesitated for a split second before pulling it open. Inside, a pile of envelopes.

She sifted through them, ignoring the bills to her mother, until she got the letters addressed to her.

She puts the bills back into the metal box, pulling the lid open from that first letter.

"Dear Ms. Almasi,

I am writing to notify you on behalf of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology decision to accept your application to enroll in the Engineering program at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology."

Dina smiled, did a little dance in the street before getting her phone and sending a picture of her letter to Ellie.

So maybe life would be okay.

________________________________________

Hello, my dear friends,

I wanted to say thank you to all of you that finished this book, that waited for me while I got depressed. I plan on writing another one when I'm better, but I wanted to end this one here, at the end of their high school years, to begin the next chapter of their lifes in university.

Thank you. I'll see you all again in college.

Happy reading!

J.