Bonded (Niklaus Mikaelson)

Hello father

Adelaide's POV

⚠️ trigger warning self harm⚠️

When you feel like I do everything's difficult. Getting up is a chore, eating becomes scheduled work and even breathing feels hard. You hate how you feel but you don't know how to stop it. You walk into school with your usual grin to hide the fact that really you'd rather be at home buried under the covers letting yourself waste away. Feeling like I do is like sitting and praying that something will kill you to end your suffering quickly, it's sitting alone wondering about your future but when you picture it you see nothing.

You don't see yourself making it past 18, growing up, having kids. But you don't show it, you continue as normal and hide every dark emotion you feel so no one around you notices. You become a skilled liar, a Hollywood actor just to sell of the performance of you being happy every day. And by the end, your exhausted.

Some days are worse than others. This was one of those days. I'm not proud of what I do, I would never tell a soul but sometimes it helps me feel better, like I'm finally in control. And I need that. Control. The one thing I've never had over my life. At least when the blade is between my fingertips and it glides across my skin, I can make the choice on how I cut, whether I cut my thigh or wrist, how deep I cut. All of that to feel something stronger than I feel everyday. The numbing pain of being alive.

That's how I felt today. I don't know why I was so upset. I knew Elijah wouldn't stay dead but for some reason I was still feeling distraught, I don't even know if distraught is the right word for it. To be honest I don't know what I fell, only that it's not a good feeling and I hate it. I don't want to go to school but if I don't then Caroline will tell Aunt Liz and then she'll start me in therapy all over again. It's not that I don't want to get better but I don't want to be told there's something wrong with me. I don't want the sympathy looks. And I don't want people to treat me differently.

But that's what happens every time someone new finds out I get the same looks the same shoulder rub and the same unwanted hugs. The only people that know are Caroline, Davina, Osa, Aunt Liz and Elijah. None of my siblings know, and I would never tell them. Out of all of them Elijah was the only one that didn't give me pity looks when he found out instead he grabbed a cloth and wordlessly wiped the wounds on my thigh and ran and me a bath.

I shake the memory off switch on the shower and waited for it to get warm before taking off my clothes and getting in. When I'm finished getting ready I go downstairs and put on my shoes deciding to skip breakfast since I'm not really in the mood to eat. I decided to walk to school instead of taking my car. Elijah always told me exercise helps when you're in this kind of mood. I put my AirPods on going through my playlist until I find the song I want. I watch as cars pass me by and observe the houses around my area. They look relatively the same as when I was a kid but if you look closely you can see some differences.

I continue walking until I feel a hand on my mouth and another hand snake around my stomach pulling me into an alleyway. I was going to fight back until I smelt it. That smell I know all too well.

"I didn't think I would see you this soon" I say when he releases his hold from me

"You didn't drop by to say hi" my dad says

"Well we both know why"

"Walk with me" he commands softly, but I know him this nice act will drop soon enough

I walk with him following where he's taking me. I think it's safe to say I'm not going to school today. He tries to ask me about school and everything else going on in my life to which I respond with short answers. That is until he asks me the question that I knew was coming.

"How's Elijah"

"If you're asking about whether he knows about what you used to do. No" I say keeping my face straight and my gaze in front of me

"You act so hostile towards me" he says as if he's hurt by my actions

I stop walk turning to look at him properly for the first time in almost 3 years

"What do you really want daddy"

"I just wanted to catch up with my child. Is that a crime?" He says with a smile

"Really? You want to catch up? You sent me away for almost 3 years beat and abused me for the 15 I was here and now you want to 'catch up'"

"Maybe I'm feeling remorseful" he responds

"Or you want something"

He gestures for me to continue walking before he starts speaking

"I don't know if you're aware of the supernatural drama going on in this town but we Martin's stay out of it. We don't take sides, we don't fight and we certainly don't intervene"

"So this is your way of telling me to back off"

"I understand your attachment to Elijah but I need to make sure that when the time comes, you'll stand with your own"

"And the ritual"

"Yes that. Did you know a Martin is needed for that. The hybrid must spill the blood of a Martin, they don't have to die just bleed in the right place. Did Elijah tell you that"

I stay silent not looking at him. Elijah would've told me if it was necessary. He probably wasn't planning on using me if he kept quiet about it

"What better Martin to use than one who's safely secured in his back pocket hm. Oblivious to everything he doesn't want you to know"

"Elijah would've said something if he needed to"

"Oh Adelaide. What was the first thing I ever taught you: trust no one. People will use and manipulate you for the power you hold. Even nobel Elijah"

"I thought you guys were friends"

"We are. But that's not important. All you need to know that if presented with the right deal when a Martin has to participate in the ritual. It will be you. Have a nice day sweetheart"- he kisses my head with tenderness any stranger would think was fatherly love-"stay out of trouble and do as I tell you" he whispers

He backs away before smiling at me and walking in the opposite direction of where he was leading me. When I look around I finally take note of my surrounding. He led me to the Martin cellar as a warning. Nobody knew what happened in our family and I made sure none of my younger siblings heard a peep of what went on. I haven't visited this cellar since before I left and I never wish to see it again.

Aunt Liz called me like I knew she would but instead of asking why I wasn't at school she asked how the day with my dad went. I'm not even surprised my dad called her. He loves being able to control situations but like everyone else Aunt Liz stays oblivious. I don't blame her, he's good at manipulating people very good, but I wouldn't dare override his words that would get me put back in the cellar

I went home dropping my bag on my bedroom floor and going to take a shower. When I came back I checked my phone to see I had messages from Stefan and Caroline. Me and Stefan aren't really that close, we're barley friends to be honest and I think that might be because I'm not involved in all of the Elena drama and he's balls deep in it. Nonetheless I open the messages seeing a warning from Stefan saying Katherine's out of the tomb and asking me to come over tomorrow. Caroline's messages include celebrations that her and Matt are back together and a video attached showing her singing in the Grill. I respond to all of them before putting my phone on the night stand and going to sleep

1431 words