A Piece of You

IV

"A smile can hide the deepest pain."

Allie's POV

It was the most perfect night. Me and Spencer, the City lights, every words we exchanged— everything. We wished for it to not end but it was impossible. Bakit nga ba hindi natin pwedeng kontrolin ang oras para doon na lang tayo sa oras na masaya tayo. Sa Perfect Timing, sabi nga nila.

"Tara na. Anong oras narin." Sabi nya.

"Okay tara na, pero please, daan tayo sa kahit anong fast food chain I'm starving." I said with a pout. He pinched my nose and smiled at me.

"Alright let's go." Sagot ni Spencer.

While driving he held my hand. His hand was warm– very warm. I don't want to let go of it again.

"Matutunaw ako if you keep staring at me." He said smiling.

"Spencer, how have you been? I mean after we broke up that time, anong nangyari sa'yo?" Tanong ko.

Natahimik kami pareho. Hindi ko akalaing nakakabingi rin ang katahimikan.

"You don't have to ans—" naputol ang sasabihin ko ng bigla syang sumagot.

"I felt helpless and restless. Ikaw yung tumutulong lagi sa akin back then at ikaw ang pahinga ko Allie. When we broke up parang hindi ko na makilala ang sarili ko." He said.

"And for quite some time, I felt like I lost myself. Siguro kaya rin natagalan ako bago bumalik kasi kinailangan kong hanapin yung sarili ko. I needed to find myself para kapag humarap na ulit ako sa'yo, buo na ako at mas kaya ko nang ingatan at mahalin ka ng sobra." Dugtong niya.

Nararamdaman ko ang mainit na tubig mula sa aking mga mata. Hindi ko inakalang ganon ang rason niya. That somehow I was the reason why we broke up. Kasi masyado akong naging busy, I was frustrated kasi hindi umaayon sa kagustuhan ko ang mga nangyayari. Dahil gusto nyang maabot ko yung mga gusto ko sinaktan nya ng sobra ang sarili nya.

"I'm sorry Spencer. I'm sorry kasi naging hadlang ako for you to reach your dreams." I said.

He pulled over and removed his seatbelt. He reached for my face and made me look at him.

"Allie, being with you is my dream." He said as he wiped my tears with his thumb.

"You don't have to be sorry. Ikaw ang buhay ko, Allie." He added.

While hearing those words from him, I swear I can feel butterflies in my stomach. He held my hand tight and started driving again.

I can't help but smile.

"I love how you smile. Very genuine, as if nothing wrong happened between us." He said.

"I love how you're still able to make my world stop as if you have it in your hands." He added.

"I just love everything about you, Allie." He said.

"My Allie." He said before planting a kiss on the back of my hand.

"Now let's go and eat dinner. Ihahatid pa kita sa inyo." He said as he sped up.

"But Spencer, seriously. What happened? How did you talk to my mom? I mean paanong okay na kayo?" I still asked. There's a part of me na gusto paring malaman kung paano sila naging okay ni mommy.

"It was a long story, pero next time I'll tell you." He said. Though a part of me felt weird, parang may hindi sya sinasabi at mukhang wala syang balak sabihin.

"What's important is that okay na yung relationship natin kay tita." He said, and that's exactly why I'm puzzled.

Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako o kakabahan dahil sa nangyayari? Like all of a sudden, mom, my mom, is okay with Spencer. Imposible.

After 30 minutes or so, ay may nakita na kaming fastfood chain. He pulled over and we got out of his car.

Sa wakas! Food. Alam kong habang nakatingin ako sa fastfood chain ay tila nagniningning ang mga mata ko. Well, this is what hunger does to a person.

Nakita ko si Spencer sa peripheral vision ko he was smiling while looking at me but his eyes seems sad.

I wanted to ask him if there was something wrong or if everything was fine but, I don't have the courage to ask dahil alam kong hindi rin nya sasabihin sa akin if ever something's going on with him.

Iyon ang hindi nagbago, he's still the same Spencer na ayaw mag-bigay ng worry sa mga mahal niya.

There's something going on here and I have to find out what it is.

Spencer's POV

I know she won't stop getting curious, that the more I hide it from her, the more she'll look for answers but, what should I do? Ayaw ko na syang iwan ulit, not now. Ayaw ko na mawala pa sya ulit sa paningin ko. I want everything to be as perfect as it can be.

At least for my last six months. I want to be happy. Ako naman, sya naman— kami naman.

It's been a month since I stopped the treatment. Noong sinabi ng doktor na mabilis kumakalat ang cancer cells sa katawan ko, I already prepared myself for the worst. I decided to stop the treatment dahil ang sabi ng doktor maliit narin ang chance na gagaling ako.

So, rather than spending my time sa bagay na alam kong 50:50 ang chance, I'd rather spend my remaining time with her. At least sa huling limang buwan ng buhay ko, magiging masaya ako. Even if one day, I'll have no choice but to close my eyes, at least I'll be beside her.

I'd rather leave this world in her arms than leave this world without seeing her.

I talked to her mom a week before coming back and I told her everything. Asked her to let me be beside her daughter for the last five months of my life. She agreed. Also apologized for what happened in the past. She told me na wala namang problema kung ako ang magiging boyfriend ni Allie, it's just that she thought we were too young at that time, and I completely understand her. She's a mom who wants the best for her only daughter, I don't see anything wrong with that.

I want to leave everything in the past. I want to make memories with Allie, I want my last five months to be memorable. I want to leave with a smile on my face.

And I'll be able to do that if I'll stay beside her for my last few months.