Love Me | MarkNoHyuckMin

chapter ninety

"Can I ask...were you talking about Haechan?"

"Does it matter?"

"I don't think you'll believe me and I'm kinda fine with it, but I do care about him. I worry about him and have never stopped wanting him happy. It hurt but I was glad he found you and Jaemin. I know people were doing what I ridiculously couldn't."

"I love him more than anything and I'm the happiest having him as my best friend but I wish you didn't have to hurt him first."

Taeyong nods, gaze shifting to the floor. "Me too."

"Before I accidently get away from my point, I need to say that I believe you feel guilty and...I don't wanna make it worse. I don't hate you, contrary to popular belief. Which I know is my fault. And I don't want you to feel miserable. I, again, don't know how you feel but I've had my own experiences with misery...and", Jisung pauses, deep in tonight. "If you feel any amount of what I feel and I hope to God you don't, then I really, really hope it stops and you can be happy. Without it getting ruined by bad thoughts."

"Jisung", Taeyong asks, concern on his face. "Are you going through something?"

"Oh, um...it kinda happens. Just, whenever. I'm fine, don't worry."

"I'm still going to worry."

"Should've expected that. Anyways, I'm sorry, I don't hate you, and you deserve happiness and to forgive yourself and love yourself. It's fucking difficult to do but it's supposed to make you feel better about things like this so I recommend it. Even if I'm shit at it myself. Oh, um, also, might as well get this out there, I don't want Haechan around you, but purely for a selfish reason. I don't wanna lose him or even share him. He deserves all the love in the world and the more people who love him, the better, but I really don't want you to take away my best friend."

"Well, that's obviously not going to happen. Not just because Haechan loves you as much as you love him, but even if I wanted to take him back, he doesn't trust me. Which is fair, I'm actually glad he doesn't and he's not taking crap from anyone. And I hurt him in more ways than what I said. I made him feel ignored, like I didn't care about his feelings, and like I didn't love him. I did everything I promised I wouldn't and even before I did anything, he was cautious. That's not something he's ever gonna forget, even if he did agree to be friends again. But remember, he doesn't even want that. He might care but that doesn't mean he's gonna put it out there again, let alone give me another chance to hurt him again. And you two seem closer than we ever were and he's sure of your love for him and he shows it."

"I'm sorry for always glaring at you. And making you scared of me. It's nice, but it's not supposed to be, according sane people."

"If it makes you feel happy, know that I was terrified of you in high school. I always tried to avoid you because I was scared you'd beat me up if you saw me."

"That time, Haechan was definitely the only thing that kept you safe. And if Haechan ever took too long to talk me out of it, Jaemin was there to remind me that he doesn't want to be alone if I get suspended."

"I really do need to thank him."

Jisung chuckles, further easing the mood. Which is nice until he thinks of something that will ruin it. "Hey, um, I will be nicer to you, but I kindly refuse to be your friend."

"I knew that. But it's obviously under better circumstances, but I still didn't expect otherwise."

"Oh, okay."

➳

Lele, Renjun, My Love😚

Renjun
HEY PARTY BITCHESSS