[2] WEEPING MONK║you're not what I was looking for

63| Fathers Forgotten - 𝐈𝐈

Adrian leant forwards as if to take a step. His hands falling towards his sword.

Ari didn't budge. The Moon Wing would never dare to touch that blade to her skin. She ground her jaw as the ire riled. Lancelot had said that he'd seen black in her veins. She'd been so oblivious to it— how seeking the Dagger for its visions whilst she was barely alive had given its power a loop to walk through and take control... and she'd allowed it. Consciously or not, she allowed it.

Since Ari said nothing with a fierce eye of determination, Yeva assumed, "Your natural powers are controlled by your will, yes?"

"Yes."

Fire, earth, affinity for life; they all came through instinct.

"And when your feelings take over, what happens to your power?"

The scrutiny in Yeva's stare had Ari feeling small. As if it were wrong to have feelings and emotions strong enough to break her hold on her powers. The breeze that was rustling higher up, far out of the valley, descended— a mocking cackle to make her feel even more insufficient as queen.

Ari couldn't hold Yeva's eyes any longer, feeling her pulse rise. "It is..." she had to breathe deliberately and slow whilst she searched for an answer that did not want to be spoken. "Overwhelming. Things happen before I realise." She had to be strong, now more than ever, and admitting such a thing only made her feel weak.

Yeva did not sound to care for her emotional state. "You need to learn to still keep control of the Dagger's power even when you are overwhelmed," she decided and thrust the Dagger between the with a tap of it through the air. Frustration simmered again in Ari's reforming glare as she took the blade back. She'd already tried to control it. Yeva continued, "You sent the humans away when you were angry and the Dagger took advantage of that."

Ari gripped the hilt down by her side until her knuckles were white beneath her leather bind. "I had reasons," she said.

"But to send the Monk to a Paladin camp had none."

"I..." Ari's throat made a choked sound as her argument hitched. How did Yeva know of that? Her father frowned visibly from across the valley, and Ari swallowed. "Yes," she said, withering. "That decision was under the blade's influence."

"Why did you use it at all?" Adrian asked, is tone softly condemning.

His voice made Ari jerk her head his way. She knew why, though she'd explained it to few. Her pulse felt like it were thrumming even quicker now. "I'd hoped the visions would prepare us for another ambush," she replied.

Yeva cut in, "And have they?"

To her shame, Ari swallowed her tongue. The visions had shown her something... but she wasn't sure that they constituted an ambush. They were more of a nightmare with fire and smoke than a fleet of blades descending upon the forest.

Her long silence gave the answer Yeva needed, or perhaps already assumed. Her line of questioning diverted. "How does it feel when you lose control with this blade?"

Ari had to take another lengthy moment to consider how to put the impossible into words. "Like darkness," she said first, sombre as she flexed her grip on the blade hilt. "A jump in time where my awareness blackens out, almost. Wishing to make decisions that aren't truly what I want."

She should have learned from her mistakes the first time she'd asked the blade for a warning— the morning before Lancelot's judgement where she'd burnt the ground in her tent. It had been typical of her then to always believe that she could handle things bigger than herself, by herself. So she supposed that she had learnt at least one lesson, or else she would not be here in this moment.