A Cadet's Solace

Chap 1

A loud bang goes out, signifying the start of the parade.

Left, right, left, right, left, right.

Seokjin counts the steps in his head despite the ringing in his ears as he tries to stay focused, his eyes never leaving the beret on the shaved head about ½ an inch shorter than him. His chest is puffed, and his chin is pointed out, while his arms swing in opposite directions with their matching legs. It's finally his last day in this shithole.
Whether it's the grueling exercises, or the unpalatable meals that he's had to force down his throat, whether it's being singled out or fiercely bullied by the drill instructors - for a crime as nasty as being famous, none of it will matter after today. He can't particularly say he would miss this place.

Thinking about it now, the first few days after enlisting were nothing like he had expected. He long since heard about how severe training for the front lines could be, but he had expected that there would at least be some easing of new recruits into the system, an orientation of some sort. Only, there was nothing like that.

After the initial blood and urine tests, It was immediately intense and his entire life changed. From his sleeping, walking and talking habits down to his appetite, everything he thought he knew about himself was thrown into a kiln like iron, melted under scalding heat and then reshaped. An experience like standing on a landmine, and throwing his entire life into the hands of an assigned partner to deactivate it, would do that to a person and that was not even the worst of it. Even now at the end of it all, Seokjin is unable to process the emotions and thoughts that ran through him in those moments.

He could have died or lost a limb but none of that would matter after today, because It's all finally over. It's the end of that seemingly endless abyss and Seokjin has earned the right to go back to his friends and family. He gets to eat his favourite meals and do everything he's missed doing.

After the parade, he lets out a breath of air and returns to the sleeping quarters. His bags have been packed since the previous night but he takes his time to make sure he doesn't leave a trace of himself behind in this place, not even a strand of hair no matter how short it is. He rolls up the thin mat that had served as a bed for many months, barely keeping the cold and hard concrete away from his skin. He ties it around the middle with a string then pushes it to the edge of the wall.

Underneath the space it occupied, sits a white sheet of paper. Despite being ironed under the mat, it still wears marks from where it was folded into a shape. Seokjin picks it up delicately and traces his fingertips along the scrawny looking writing that fills it, flowing scantily from one edge of the paper to another. Seokjin smiles wistfully. It's safe to say that his sanity, the entirety of the time he spent in this hellhole, was reliant on this piece of wrinkled paper and the many more that came after it. In the end, it seems there's at least one thing he's grateful for in this shitty experience.

Once a month, fans were allowed to send handwritten letters to him, conveying their heartfelt wishes for his health and safety. It was something Seokjin was grateful for, even if he knew he would never be able to read through all of it. The first time they arrived, he had spent several minutes collecting them from the huge cardboard box that contained his and the other cadets' letters. He took them all to his mat and tried to go through them, thinking that his fans- the ARMY - deserved to be honoured and recognized individually.

After only a few hundred he realised there was no need to, since they all roughly had the same content; Iterations of "Eat well, sleep well, be healthy." He knew to do all of that, he didn't have a choice.

And so, he was packing up those letters feeling unreasonably disappointed, when he came across one that was folded into something resembling a butterfly.