The Sun and Her Moon- Remus Lupin

The Minds A Dangerous Thing

Remus sighed, raising his eyebrows at james clearly begging him to drop it.

"Say it."

"James..."

"Say it!"

"Fine!" Remus huffed. "I'm worthy of love!"

"Again."

"I'm worthy of love-"

"Again!"

"Will you— merlin— I'm worthy of love!"

After James made Remus five more times, he slapped his friend on the back, pulling him in for a tight hug.

"You listen to me Remus Lupin, Aveline Rosier should be considering herself the luckiest girl to walk the planet that she managed to steal your heart. And as someone who is a hopeless romantic who sucks at romance apparently, give it a shot for me so I can live through you."

Remus chuckled at this again, for James Potter always had the ability to make someone amused even in their saddest of times.

"You know I can't do that James," Remus sighed.

"Why not?" James shrugged. "You'll never know until you try."

Remus but his lip, looking down at his feet with an annoyed sigh. He couldn't say he regretted their kiss. In all the girls Remus had kiss none had felt the way Aveline did. It was almost as if she was some odd drug, that he would sell his soul if he could keep kissing.

He did however, feel guilty. He led her on for the past year and he knew that. Due to his own selfishness of not being able to let her go. She deserved to be with a normal guy— like the bloke at the party— who she could be with freely and openly.

If the stars ever aligned and they ended up together, he could ruin her life by someone finding out he was a werewolf. They would question her sanity. Question if she was one as well. And Remus would rather die alone then put anyone he cared for through that.

"I did try," Remus grumbled.

"What?!"

"I fucking kissed her James," Remus groaned in frustration, pulling at the hair in his head. "I'm a selfish git. I even ran away after too."

James fell silent, and Remus didn't even dare to look up to see his face.

"Ow!" Remus snapped as he clutched his arm, the feeling of James fist colliding with it.

"Sorry mate, that one was for Aveline. I hope it leaves a bruise," James explained in a normal tone, not sounding all that pissed off. "You can't run away after you kiss a girl! Especially our Aveline! Dick move!"

"I'm aware it was a dick move," he seethed back, his tone short.

"Listen I know you want to stay away because you don't want to hurt her mate. But I think what your doing is much worse. Aveline really cares for you. It should be her decision on whether or not she wants to take the risks that come with being with a werewolf," James said. "And for the record, I know for a fact she wouldn't give a single shit about it—Your talking about the girl who became an animagus for you for crying out loud."

Remus didn't respond, mostly because he couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't make him look like a wallowing self pitying fool.

Remus Lupin was always someone who valued logic— facts, reasoning etc. He always tried to look at issues and circumstances from a disconnected point of view. One of which he does not put to many of his own personal issues into issue. Tries to detach his emotions in a way. This logical side of his brain— the one that was able to do this all— was telling him perhaps James was right.

Though Remus was only human. Human fool of emotions that dug into his body like a graveyard worker digging a new grave— scraping and clawing out parts of him till he felt like he was sinking. It was that horrid feeling in which no words exists for— the feeling of such an intense longing for time travel to exist so you can change the past or just something fundamental about yourself.

For Remus?

He could be smart— the smartest in the room. He could be attractive— the best looking in the room. He could be kind, sweet, attentive, funny, likeable, personable, but at the end of the day his first and most defining trait was the fact he was a werewolf.

And as Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath, that's all he could see. The greedy, vicious monster inside of himself, that could ruin Aveline's life. He could wish on every star, he could pray to every lord of every religion, but nothing would be enough to make him good enough for her.