𝗯𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗶𝗲 & 𝗰𝗹𝘆𝗱𝗲 ; a. itto

eight ; derailed

tw: brief (literally unnoticeable) mention of syphilis

enjoy ! + a/n at the end yall better read!!!!!

council meetings first thing in the morning aren't the best, but you know what makes it so much worse? seeing your "fiancé" there. hes not supposed to be there. and of course, absolutely no one bats an eye. well, except for the sumeru department. they're some of the realest people you'll ever meet. cyno's stares can cause syphilis, kaveh won't hesitate to put a bitch in their place, and haitham is just... there. those three are menaces to the council, and thats what makes it enjoyable. sometimes.

the slam of a book on the maple wood table followed by a sigh. "now who the fuck is this?" kaveh leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms and legs. haitham stared at him sideways before sighing and going back to scribbling meaningless words in his notebook. "hey kid, you just can't waltz into the council. go along now." takuya stationed himself firmly at your side, "why don't you introduce me y/n?" in all honesty, you weren't paying much attention to the altercation between takuya and kaveh, settling for researching new flowers to plant instead. so when you were asked this crucial question, five words spilled out of your mouth quizzically. "i'm sorry, who are you?"

you knew damn well who he was, but you didn't want to. so you pretended not to! smiling up at him from the newfound comfort of your council chair while knowing that a stuck-up bitch like takuya will never have the luxury of being in one of these seats, made you so fucking happy. the person in question leaned closer to your ear, a threat on his lips. "you'll regret this." rolling your eyes, you whispered back. "the only thing i'll regret is not beating the fuck out of you yesterday." he stepped back briskly, practically skipping out of the meeting room, not forgetting to give you a scowl just before he left.

"well that was fun. can we get on with the meeting now?" kaveh complained. mona chuckled causing a response from him. "what are you laughing at?!" somehow, the entirety of the liyue department managed to hold their heads in their hands simultaneously, looking extremely annoyed. except xingqiu, who was living for this. "you're always complaining, kaveh. have you nothing better to do?" gripping the armrests of his chair, kaveh exclaimed "you–! and thats exactly why you're broke!" gasping, mona stood up from her chair, hands slamming on the table "why you–"

"secretary."

a voice called out. and just like that, all other voices in the room fell silent.

"y/n. how's the investigation going?" raiden looked at you passively, she most likely doesn't care but wanted to do anything for those two to shut up. "it's coming along well, president. i have successfully infiltrated the arataki gang and am currently conducting research on their habits." you made it sound smarter than it was. you've done next to nothing to figure out the root cause of the "havoc" that the aforementioned gang is causing, and it didn't matter to you anyway. it's none of your business; if mona has such a problem, she can just go fix it herself with her hydromancy

—

saying that you despised english was an understatement. it wasn't that bad before, ranking in the middle of your favorite classes. but now, you just knew that the archons were out to get you. someway, somehow, takuya got transferred to your section and someway, somehow, yae miko fucked up the seats so badly, she forgot to seat someone in the aisle seat in the lefthand-most column in the fourth row. meaning that you were next to, not one, but two oni. one of which is vying for your heart and the other is your fiancé. fun! so much fucking fun! you're having such a field day, yoimiya can feel it from behind her! turning around, yoimiya looked you up and down before stifling a laugh, quickly returning to her original position once she was called on by miko