When It's Cold I'd Like To Die

01:18

Justin had been watching Clay typing for the last nine minutes, not really sure what the other boy was trying to tell him. Maybe it was a long paragraph about how much Clay hates him and how it's all his fault Hannah is dead and Jessica is traumatized? Well, Justin wouldn't be too shocked to see him say that, it wouldn't exactly be lies. 

He was too hesitating upon saying something, perhaps he should just text Clay instead of waiting for the other boy. Maybe he should do that. Justin would stop himself every time. He, too, struggled to think of what to say. They both had this problem, it seemed. 

You got the call too, huh?

Justin looked at the message.

Yeah

Justin replied.

Clay was typing for a long time again, Justin imagining what Clay would say back. 

Good. You deserve it. 

Justin blinked as he looked at the continuous typing, no new message. Perhaps he wanted Clay to write something hateful, perhaps he felt like he deserved to hear it, that he wanted to. He wanted something to punch him hard in the gut.

Are you scared? Of dying? 

Clay had written. 

Justin looked down at the message. Why was Clay so interested? 

Why are you asking me this?

He wrote, half regretting it as he sent it.     

I don't know, curious, I guess. 

Clay had replied.

Curious? Clay was curious? About how he felt about death? Justin didn't know what to tell him. He could be brutally honest and say that he wasn't scared and that he wanted it to happen, that he had been waiting for it to happen, but Justin knew he'd probably scare Clay away. Maybe he should, he'd want that. It was weird because he actually wanted to talk to Clay.

I guess I am?

Justin sent in a questionable sense, not really sure himself. 

 How about you? 

Justin bounced the question back at Clay. 

I don't really know, haven't really thought much about death recently

Clay had replied. 

Why was he so friendly with him? Justin was so desperate to understand why Clay Jensen wasn't currently swearing and cursing at him, wishing him dead or something. Justin thought about Clay's response. Justin, on the other hand, thought about death all the time. It was just a matter of when it would happen.  

I haven't really thought about it either

Justin lied. He didn't want Clay knowing how fucked up he was. Shoulder's slumping, he looked out at the dark, busy roads around him. It was quite a busy town, full of dangers that could be a reason of his death. He began to feel how unsafe he was in this cursed town. 

Turning the screen off, abandoning his conversation with Clay, Justin begins to wander the town on his own as time passed by. Ignoring the vibrations coming from the device.