JADE (young justice/robin)

44. the final straw (year six)

Blüdhaven
August 19, 11:20 EDT

jade.

It's been sixty days since Wally died, forty-eight since the funeral.

Dick was sat at his desk, silently staring at his computer. It was a novelty that he was home at all, actually.

Kaldur may have taken charge again, but Dick had fully immersed himself in the team. Most mornings, I'd wake up to find that he still wasn't home. If he did bother, it was like this: sitting and staring at files until he felt like leaving or sleeping.

"Can I sit with you?"

He looked up at me only for a second, before leaning back in his chair. "Yeah, that's fine."

This used to be normal for us. He'd be swamped with work and I'd be too tired to wait for him to finish. I'd sit there, hugging him for hours. Countless times, I woke up the next morning to find out he'd carried me to bed.

It was normal for us. So, why did I sound afraid when I asked?

I got onto his lap, my legs hanging off the chair from the opposite direction. My calves were burning. I needed a hot bath or to take a minute to roll them out from the cramps they'd formed during practice. But I ignored that because I wanted to be near him for a while. I wanted to be in his arms.

I tried to be playful. My hand cupped his face as I started kissing and biting at his ear in the way I knew he liked it. Please. I'm right here.

He pulled his face away. "Stop it."

It wasn't normal anymore, I guess.

I listened. I sat in his arms and didn't try anything, worried that if I did he'd tell me to get up entirely.

I've learned at this point to just go along with whatever mood he was in. If distance was what he needed, then I stayed away. If kissing and sex was what he wanted, then that's what he got. I didn't argue or try to explain that it was hurtful because he never did that to me when I was the one grieving. I just wanted him to feel better.

There were rare days in between all the bad ones. The days where I'd wake up with his arms around me and it felt as if my universe had reset. He was affectionate and attentive. After a few hours, though, it would fizzle out and he'd grow distant again.

Blüdhaven
September 12, 20:18 EDT

It's been eighty-four days since Wally died, seventy-two since the funeral.

Dick was on top of me, moving slowly. I moaned softly into his ear, fingers pressing into his bare back. I was doing as much as I could to let him know that it felt good, but after about ten minutes of not picking up the pace, he went completely soft inside of me.

"Sorry," he panted.

"It's okay. Do you want me to..?" I glanced down, already getting ready to change the alignment of our bodies, but he stopped me.

"No, no." He held himself over me, not even looking into my eyes. "I'm just really tired. We can try again in the morning."

I didn't know what to say. In the entire time we've been together, nothing like that had ever happened before. "Okay."