Sometimes it really seems like life is just forever. Perpetual. It feels like I'm just doing the same things everyday with no true meaning, and the bad thing is that my days only consist of lying and misery.
Why burden others when you can just burden yourself?
I just don't understand how some people can confess all their problems, all their pain, all their lies to someone. Wouldn't that just create more pain? Wouldn't that just spread the pain around so that there are more people suffering?
I'm still lying to Ae-Cha about my work. I want to tell her, of course, but I just know it would break her. I want her to think she can rely on me, and that I'm 100% loyal.
Which I am, it just wouldn't seem that way to her.
I'm still only meeting people for money. Nothing else. No pleasure. No sex.
But it still feels so, so wrong. I know it is, and I also know that to the outside eye it seems like I could really just confess everything to Ae-Cha, and if she was a good person, she would be supportive if I limited it down to no contact between clients, or something like that.
It wouldn't go that way.
Informing her about my profession would be adding a drop of water to a full bathtub. It would overflow and ruin everything.
So before I do that, I need to pull the drain and let the water level fall.
I don't know if that makes sense, but it does to me, and nobody else is going to be reading this fucked up journal anyways.
Fucked up, like me.
CZYTASZ
It's Okay to Cry | Hyunlix
RomansDISCONTINUED Lee Felix- A sugar baby, who puts on a smiling mask for all of his clients Hwang Hyunjin- A boy who doesn't want to be lonely, and just seeks warmth "Why burden others when you can just burden yourself?" "Only those who have suffered ca...
