Twenty-nine || Damon

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It should be over

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It should be over. I convinced myself that all I needed was to talk to her to feel better. It's okay. Everything will be okay. That's what I've been telling myself that for months since I have been getting better. It's a little scary to think I was even able to get through a date without thinking of her. Which makes a bit of a hypocrite for getting mad at I guess. Extra points on the douche factor since I had sex with her after. I shouldn't get mad at her for doing the same. I'm such an asshole.

Taking a deep breath, my progress is looking real pointless right about now. For example, this is pretty counterproductive. Sitting on a couch at a graduation party. Which is honestly just a regular fucking party that they stuck the word graduation in front off. The only difference is last year seniors where invited which is why I'm here. Usually I'd look forward to these. Parties I mean. I barely go anymore since Benji doesn't let me go too often or he'll drag me out. I'm not on a permanent ban. That would be fucking ridiculous, I go when he goes. If he has plans and he can't go then I better change mine since I'm not allowed to go either. It's frustrating but I get it. I wouldn't have changed if he didn't force it.

He's not here right now so I have absolutely no supervision. No limits, no nothing but instead of enjoying that freedom I chose to sit and watch her. What a waste. Staring at the back of her head this would be a lot easier, and I would go along my way, if she had picked up on the hint I dropped yesterday evening. I wanted her to chuck that ring. If I never saw her wear it would be a wake up call telling me to move the fuck on but no. She's wearing it on her ring finger. Not only that but she's elaborately paired it with a dress and necklace to match it too.

Bringing my cup to my lip I gently chew on the plastic in seek of cognitive relief. The relief doesn't come. Maybe it's delayed.

There's a chance she had already planned to wear that outfit and I'm giving myself too much credit. Me giving her the ring that matched might've been an odd connivence. With my luck I don't doubt that's what happened.

'Does that not effect you? You're drinking it like it's water.' Colton take the plastic cup I away from away from me. 'That's your fourth one in only thirty minutes and you seem completely unaffected. You're filling it up to the fucking brim Damon.'

'I guess my tolerance got better...No parents to think about really does one on you. Especially as a first year. Weird to say right? We're basically freshman.' I allow him to take it from me as long as he doesn't question it but I keep my eyes on Brylan.

She's still talking to Zayn. Except there's a change. I could tell from the get-go that their conversation wasn't pleasant. It's was actually what made me start watching in the first place. Them arguing was bringing me so much joy and I don't even care how that makes me look as a person.

'Stop staring at her.' He must've seen where I was looking. 'You don't want to rekindle any old feelings.'

Correction. 'You don't want to make your feelings worse.'

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