I Love You Just the Way You Are (Book 1- Rock Canyon Series)

Chapter 16 - Kellan

Chapter 16 – Kellan

I crawled through the rest of the day. The only thing in the world I truly cared about had told me we were nothing; where did that leave me?

I'll tell you where–in a bathroom stall emptying out the toilet paper, trying to staunch the bleeding. When I thought I was all bled out, my eyes would fill and erupt again.

What is so awful and scary about me that I can't even be your friend?

I managed to drag myself to practice that night, though all I wanted to do was go home. Ty pulled me aside before we took the field, stopping by the massive old pine that we looped around during our warmup jog. He looked more serious than usual and I braced, afraid he was going to question why I was taking up for Maddie.

"Good speech today, bruh. I like how you took up for her. Some of the guys were ribbing you at lunch, but I had your back. There aren't too many black people in this town, and I know how it feels to be an outsider sometimes. It could have been me they were making fun of," he said. We clasped and shared a quick bro hug. I was relieved to be wrong. He was just being a good friend.

"Ty, I pity the idiot who decides to make fun of you. I've seen you one time in action. Remember that kid at the basketball court downtown who called you the n-word? That dude's eye was still purple two weeks later when he apologized." We both shared a hearty laugh, and I don't think I've ever loved him more than at that moment. I needed him to have my back today. I didn't want to feel any more alone than I already did.

"Hey, man, thanks for standing up for me," I said, tapping his arm with the back of my hand. "I just want to see peace in the hallways. Let people be who they are. I'm not trying to change the world, just don't want anybody to get hurt."

He nodded and started bouncing up and down, his nervous energy always getting the best of him. "I always got your back, bruh. By the way, I saw the first fifteen plays for Friday. It's a bromance for me and you. No less than eight plays where I get the ball. Coach must know something about their secondary. I smell the endzone and it smells reallll good. This could be a big game for us. Pad our stats out. Let's lock in and get this. Tighten up!" he faked like he was going to punch me in the groin, and then took off in a sprint across the field.

Practice was the soothing balm that I needed. I felt sharper than I had since football season began. When I would think about Maddie, my heart would throw up a flare, reminding me that I'd eventually have to leave this field and deal with those feelings, but I kept pushing it away.

When practice was over, and I was alone in the locker room, Maddie returned full force. I gave in to the feelings, not caring if I rolled off the bench and died right there on the cold floor.

I closed my eyes and saw the sad smile she gave me as she told me I wasn't what she wanted. Her eyes were narrowed from the sun, her freckles almost translucent.

I would do anything to see that again. But I'm not going to, am I, Maddie?

I stood up and grabbed my bag. Ty was probably waiting for me, bass booming so loud they heard it in Phoenix. When I emerged into the athletic parking lot, I gasped. Hugh Martin was leaning against the back of his Volvo, looking toward the sunset.

Oh no, what does he want? Is he going to chew me out? I wonder what Maddie told him.

He flashed a friendly wave when he saw me, and I nervously walked toward him.

"Hi, Kellan. I heard about the assembly today. I wanted to talk to you. Mind if I give you a ride home?"

I hesitated for a second, unsure whether I wanted to get into a car with a man I barely knew. I shook that feeling off quickly, realizing that anyone who supported their kid as much as Hugh did would have to be a decent guy.