Pandora's Hope

Come Back Home

Hoseok isn't going to work today. He barely wants to live right now. He managed to get a couple of hours of sleep, but each time he woke up he was reminded that this nightmare is real. He feels sick, like his lifeline has been cut and it's only a matter of time before he parishes.

He doesn't want to get out of bed. If he leaves his room he'll only step out and see Nari's craft corner that he set up for her. The desk where she spent many hours creating pieces that kept a smile on her face. A smile Hoseok misses so much. A smile that he's afraid will fade from his memory forever if he doesn't keep his eyes closed and replay her sweet laugh over and over again.

He doesn't have an appetite. What is he supposed to do? Make breakfast? Make himself croffles? The croffles that Nari was instantly hooked on? He can't eat that.

Is he supposed to drink something? Something that Nari didn't mix? Even nonalcoholic drinks tasted amazing when she made them. He can't drink anything right now.

Should he try taking a shower? The shower where they made love time and again when she was here? He definitely can't go in there.

The struggle to find meaning to do anything is heavy and robs Hoseok of his smile. His brightness that came to be loved by everyone around him. It's taken away his habit of making his own sound effects and going through life to his own soundtrack. It's taken away the pep in his step and reason for being. He's become a dark hollow shell of his former self.

Texts are ignored if they don't contain updates on Nari. Calls from Taebin are ignored. Her voicemail asking him to take care of himself and reach out if he needs anything falls on deaf ears. Jin's offer to come over and keep him company remains unanswered.

The routine continues with Hoseok barely getting out of bed for days. Until Namjoon calls him Tuesday afternoon asking to come over. It's been a week since Nari was last heard from and aside from her, Namjoon is the only other person he wants to hear from right now.

"How are you holding up?" Namjoon asks stepping into Hoseok's apartment. He realizes he probably shouldn't have asked because based on Hoseok's ragged and pale appearance it's clear that he hasn't been holding up well.

Hoseok only shrugs with a grunt as he throws himself on the couch. His eyes are starting to sink into their sockets and it's clear he's lost an unhealthy amount of weight in the past week. His skin is nearly as colorless as the plain white t-shirt he has on.

"I thought I'd come and check on you," Namjoon starts. "I know you're having a hard time right now."

Hoseok sighs not making eye contact. He already knows he's having a hard time, he doesn't need to be told that.

"But anyway..." Namjoon tries to carry on realizing he's not going to get much back and forth conversation out of him. "I wanted to share a few updates with you. We got a tip from someone that Leo could possibly be trying to flee to Busan. Officers are keeping an eye out for his car and we're checking all public transportation between here and there."

"Busan?" Hoseok rasps.

"He has connections there and may be trying to hide. The good news is that we were able to convince Park Jimin to talk to us and he gave us a lot of useful information that could help get Leo put away for a really long time."

"And Nari?" Hoseok asks. Before he would be ecstatic about that news, but until he knows where Nari is he doesn't care.

"We're still looking." Namjoon knew the question would come up, and he knew that his answer wouldn't be good enough.

"You still haven't found anything?"

"We're trying as hard as we can. We reached out to her family members but no one has seen or heard from her. I wish I had more I could tell you."