𝙍𝙀𝘿 // 𝘽𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙄𝙀 𝙀𝙄𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙃 𝙁𝘼𝙉𝙁𝙄𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉

reconnecting

"i love your hair." cole complimented.

"mm! thank you, i'm still getting used to it." i smiled.

"blue always talked about how cute it would look blonde." she mentioned.

i looked up and studied everyone's reactions, they all focused their attention at me now. "yeah." i nodded. "that's the main reason i bleached it."

"i think it looks lovely." jasmine added.

"i do too, it suits you." lucas said.

"thank you." my smile got a little wider.

everyone continued on eating their plate and then little by little the table was empty and clean. everyone made their way to the living room where they just did their thing and had their own conversation. meanwhile i sat there awkwardly and just when i decided i should probably go, lucas caught my attention.

"have you been on social media lately?" he asked.

"no, i wasn't allowed to use it during the duration of trail and i've deleted it off my phone a while ago, so it been a minute. why?"

"there's just a lot of positive content that revolves around you." he informed me. "hey, i- i'm sorry for not being there for you. i just feel like-"

"no, stop it. i'm sorry for not being there for you, i knew you weren't doing well. when i saw you at her grave, i should've done something. i feel like i just disappeared, and i was selfish."

"no, you had the right to be selfish. you needed time to focus on you, i think everyone was doing their own thing at the time. except for finneas he did a lot for everyone i think." lucas said.

"i know he did a lot for me. didn't really ask about anyone else though, except for you once." i agreed.
"do you want hang out? i was planing on going to the beach later to watch the sunset."

"yeah, let's do it." he smiled.

"what about you cole? do you want to join us?" i asked.

"what? where?" she turned her attention to me.

"we're going to the beach before sunset."

"yeah, sure. i'll join." she nodded. "it's okay with you right?" she turned to kyle.

"yeah, you should go." kyle nodded.

"so she's asking for permission now huh?" i raised a brow at kyle. "i've got my eye on you."

"i won't fuck up." he put his hands up. "i promise."

"you better not." i pointed my index finger at him.
-

"how did i not know about this spot? i always come here." lucas said, looking out into the sea.

"blue told me about this spot. it was the location of one of your first picnics wasn't it?" cole said.

"yeah, i've always loved this place." i nodded.

"a while ago, and i mean a while ago before blue even met you. we had this conversation that i just can't shake out of my head." lucas started after a while of cole, him and i watching the sky turn into different colors and the waves hitting the shore. "we were talking about death and how scary it is. she said that she wasn't ready to go and she didn't know if she ever would want to go. she asked me to ask my grandma about death and i came back to her a while later."

"my grandma said, she used to be scared to leave the world too. but as you grow old and you go through many experiences and emotions. you slowly feel like you've done what you're supposed to do in this world and you don't mind leaving anymore. like it's not so scary anymore."

"it's just killing me how we were talking about this not knowing that a year later she would be gone." he concluded.

"minutes before she died, she told me death used to scare her a lot but she wasn't scared of it anymore. she even said something along the lines of... getting her eyelashes pulled out by an eyelash curler scares her more but now she doesn't have any so it's a win win." i shook my head, letting my eyes fill up with puddles.

"i'm sorry i just feel like everytime i feel like i'm finally okay, i crumble apart." my words came out shaky and i wiped the tears of my face before they could even reach half my cheeks.

"it's okay, don't apologize." lucas pulled me in for a side hug and i just let myself fall onto him, i opened my arms out for cole to hug me from the other side, so we can be in a group hug.

"i'm posting her music soon." i announced.

"i wanted to hear what she was working on, but she never let me. said she would once she was done with the whole album." cole said.

"she never got to finish it." i looked at the multi colored sky. "i want to announce it but i don't know how."

"it's do it right here right now." cole suggested.

"o-okay that's a great idea actually." i looked over at lucas to see what he thought of the idea and he just nodded once. i unlocked my phone, redownloaded instagram and logged into my account. i raised my phone horizontally and started recording.

"hey guys, i'm at the ocean watching the sunset and i have with me two of my favorite people." i started.

"i'm cole, blue's sister." she introduced herself.

"lucas, her best friend." he followed cole's footsteps.

"before blue passed away she asked me to do something for her. unfortunately she couldn't complete some of it but i tried my best to make this amazing for her, to make her be proud of what she did and the efforts she put into it and the remaining effort i put in to complete it." i started, trying to add some sort of suspense when this really is just sad.

"for god's sake just say it already." cole giggled shaking her head.

"okay." i laughed. "blue's album "RED" is out on december 3rd."

i looked over at lucas and he was pouting and cole put her head on my shoulder, "we hope you guys love it as much as we do, even though we haven't heard it yet." lucas said. "but we're about to go to her place and listen to it."

"we are?" i frowned.

"we are." lucas confirmed.

"we are." i nodded to the camera.
-

(sorry for the late update i've been sick)