𝙍𝙀𝘿 // 𝘽𝙄𝙇𝙇𝙄𝙀 𝙀𝙄𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙃 𝙁𝘼𝙉𝙁𝙄𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉

gave up

blue

i feel like i'm finally slowly starting to weather out. little by little i feel my body deceasing, and i can't hide it anymore. how weak i actually am.

it's a whole new year and it's the same old me. we were supposed to go and celebrate with our friends at claudia's, we invited everyone over and we were going to have a blast. i decided that i couldn't go last minute and billie insisted on bailing too. so we spent new years in bed together.

it's was still a special memory though, we counted down backwards and kissed each other the second the clock turned to twelve. we wished each other a happy new year out of habit and i fell asleep on her chest, listening to her heartbeat moments later.

i wonder what the others thought when they found out we wouldn't make it. i bet they pitty us, i bet they feel sorry for us and i don't blame them. i feel sorry for myself even.

today is billie and i's one year anniversary. i made it, we made it this far. i've got something chill planned for us to make this special. i'm so grateful i'm alive for this, at least i got to be alive for this.

"what are you doing?" billie asked.

"putting on my shoes." i answered.

"i know but why?" billie frowned her brows. "hey, hey! you can't drive, you know that."

"i'm not driving you are." i threw the key at her and she caught it.

"where are we going?" she asked while slipping her shoes on.

"you'll know soon."

"i think i'm supposed to know the destination in order to know the directions blue, they go hand in hand babe." she got up and locked the door.

"i'm gonna tell you the directions and you'll follow what i say until you figure it out." i shrugged while getting into the elevator.

"are we getting a puppy too? just like ivy?" she asked

"no we are not getting a puppy." i chuckled out of amusement.

"what? i really want a little puppy. ivy gave me puppy fever." she pouted.

"hey guys!" winter smiled as soon as she spotted billie and i while approaching our reserved car spot.

"hi winter." i smiled back.

"she's holding me hostage and forcing me to drive a car without a destination." billie went straight to the point.

"i am only trying to do something cute for our anniversary." i rolled my eyes while explaining to winter.

"aw happy anniversary!" she exclaimed.

"thank you but i'm still held hostage." billie opened my door, waited for me to get in and closed the door before speed walking to the other side and staring the car.

"don't go around spreading rumors about us." i jokingly warned.

"too late."
-

"we're going to the beach aren't we?" billie formed a grin on her face. "is it a picnic?" i didn't answer. "it's a picnic at the beach isn't it?" he pitch got higher as she grew more excited. "of course it's a picnic" she rolled her eyes.

"okay, well i'm sorry that i tried doing something nice for you." i acted like i took offense to that.

"no, i didn't complain! i'm excited, i swear." she reached out to hold my hand. i held it but still looked the other way, to the window. "i love you" she said.

"i love you too." a smile creeped its way onto my face and my cheeks took a hint of red to them.

"see you can't get mad at me." she grinned.