New Moon - A different Bella

Chapter 15

On the way home, I stopped at the diner to pick up a take-away dinner for myself and Charlie, Alice would make up some excuse to not eat dinner. Alice was still giggling once I pulled up to my house. It wasn't even that funny. I was getting a bit annoyed and I think she noticed because by the time we walked into the kitchen she had calmed down. I put the food into the fridge. It was now just gone half six and Charlie  had said he wouldn't be home until around seven, as he had to work late. Alice helped me put away all the stuff I bought today. 

Alice told me jasper had texted her saying he would be here around mid-day tomorrow. We chatted for a while, about everything and anything.

"Are you planning to visit your mom anytime soon?", She asked plopping down beside me. She had insisted on making me a cup of tea, saying I needed to warm up after being outside all day. 

"Well, I was thinking about it. She's in Florida at the moment with Phil, but ahe emailed me saying she was heading back to phoenix for a few days in a couple of weeks to visit some friends and that it would be the perfect time for me to visit, so I might go then, but nothing is certain", I replied while I lounged on the couch, pulling my knees up. I took a sip of my tea while she responded. I haven't seen my mom in months, all I wanted to do was hug her.

"I can tell you miss her, I can see it in your eyes. You always but on a brave front, Bella. You need to know it's ok to not be ok. Its ok to cry, and not be ashamed. Crying was actually clinically proven to be healthy"

"Thanks Alice. I mean it, I would have been lost without you. It was tough when I first moved here, even though I didn't show it. You and your brother distracted me, took away the guilt and grief that's constanting there. I love you for that Alice, your like the sister I always wanted", I choked out, tearing up at this point. 

I put my tea down on the coffee table and wrapped her in a hug.

"I love you too Bella, I just want you to be happy", She said. 

For some reason, this angered me. She wanted me to be happy? So she left me with nothing?

I stiffened and pulled out of the hug. 

"If you wanted me to be happy then you wouldn't have left me! I'm sorry Alice, I thought I could forgive you, but I can't. At least not yet", I said standing up. "Please, just go"

"But Bella-"

"Please Alice!"

I couldn't bare to look at the heart broken look on her face and closed my eyes, taking deep breaths.

I could tell she was still there. 

"Alice, I can't deal with this right now. I might call you tomorrow"

"I'm so, so sorry", She whispered, her voice almost cracking in pain. I felt a whoosh of air and knew she was gone. 

I opened my eyes, and felt the familiar lonely feeling creeping back inside of me. It fueled my guilt, and  ate way at my heart, taunting me of everything thats gone wrong. Alice, Edward, Phoenix, every mistake I've ever made. Memories rang through my mind, the petrified looks of the people I terrorised flashed before my eyes. 

Black spots appeared in the memories as I relived that gut-wrenching moment I regretted the most.

It was the moment I witnessed the one look, I knew I'd never forget, for as long as I live.

The look on my brother's face he had as he was sentenced three years in jail, with help from me. 

I felt my consiousness slip away as I relived the moment over and over, guilt racking through me as I fell to the ground and the darkness consumed me.

(A/N: A real cliffhanger, eh? Sorry its so short! It needed to end there, to build the tension and what-not! I hope ye like it and my next update will be soon, I promise! 

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-Katie xxx)