"Um, all relationships?" Phyllis asked. Jim swiveled in his chair, fingers pressing to his mouth. He was trying to fight a smile from his face. "Even a one night stand?" Phyllis continued. Curiously, Evelyn leaned over Kelly to spy the woman. Jim's head turned to the camera standing in front of Michael's office door before he searched for Evelyn's eyes. "I think the old honor system was fine," Michael stated.
"For example, I have never slept with an employee. And believe me, I could have." Dwight scoffed. "Yeah, Meredith," he blurted out with no hesitation. Finally, Evelyn's eyes met Jim's. They were wide and swimming with humor. She couldn't fight the smile off of her face. Michael quickly argued, "No, no, Catherine. Remember her? Remember how hot she was? She would have definitely slept with me."
"She wasn't that hot," Kevin argued. Evelyn's smile turned into a grimace. "Yes, she was. Damnit, Kevin!"
━━━━━━━━━━
EVELYN Talking about sexual harrassment in the office has always seemed to bring out the craziness in people. And I think Michael has officially lost it.
━━━━━━━━━━
"What if Pam was a lesbian?" Michael asked, jabbing his finger in her direction. Evelyn snorted, surprised by the aggressiveness in his tone. "What if she brought her "partner" in to work? Would that be crossing a line?"
"No," Toby replied, tired.
"What if they made out in front of everybody?" Michael continued. Kevin chuckled lowly from behind Evelyn. Toby sighed. "Well, that would be—"
"At home?" Michael interrupted him. "And I told everybody everything about it?" Dwight pumped his fists as if he agreed. Evelyn blinked. "That's an invasion of privacy," she stated. "And still inappropriate. And why do you keep putting quotations around the word partner?"
"I'm lost," Toby admitted. And it was understandable. Michael had been rambling. His question was all over the place, and completely unfollowable. Michael sighed, placing his hands on his hips. "Then why don't we act it out. Pam, you will be girl A. And... Evelyn. You will be girl B."
The two glanced toward one another in shock. "Up front please, ladies." Kelly giggled from beside Evelyn. Michael motioned them to the front. Evelyn's eyes narrowed at her boss. "That's enough," Toby said. "It's over. You can all go back to work."
"I'd like to see them act it out," Kevin blurted out. Michael clapped his hands loudly. Evelyn felt a shudder escalate up her spine. "No," she declared. "No, we are not going to make out in front of you guys."
"Sounds a little homophobic to me," Michael retorted. Pam scoffed. Though he knew that what Michael was asking was gross, Jim couldn't help but chortle. He covered the lower half of his face behind his hand, amusement dancing in his ochre eyes. "I am not homophobic," she spat. "My roommate is a lesbian and she's my best friend."
Jim spun around, hand pressed to his heart. It probably wasn't the best time for him to find offense to her words. But hearing her call Payton her best friend stung. She ignored him despite the tremble of a smile at the corners of her mouth. "Then you shouldn't find it offensive to make out with Pam," Michael tried to reason.
"That makes zero sense," Pam stated. "We are not going to kiss." Meredith shrugged her shoulders. "I'll kiss someone," she offered. "It's just kissing." Evelyn grimaced. Michael shook his head. "You ruined it," he told the older redhead. "Thanks, Meredith."
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PAM If they knew about what happened at New Years three years ago, they'd die on the spot.
EVELYN Michael would never leave us alone.
[ BOTH PAM AND EVELYN SHARE A LOOK BEFORE BREAKING OUT INTO A FIT OF GIGGLES. ]
PAM This stays between us, right?
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It was Jim's turn to aid Pam in her quest to protect her mother. She had been shirking her duties all day due to the seminar and then Michael's request. Just as she hung up her phone, the door to the annex pulled open. "Hey, Toby," a familiar voice exhaled with a sigh. Evelyn could see just the top of Dwight's head over their makeshift wall.
"Hey, Dwight," Toby responded politely. Evelyn leaned back in her chair, clicking onto the Solitaire icon on her desktop. "You said that we could come to you if we had any questions." Evelyn's ears perked up. Dwight's voice went hushed. Quietly, she scooted her chair closer to her desk, caging herself in her seat. "Sure," replied Toby.
There was a pause. The room fell silent except for the steady rumble of the air conditioner. In a small, sad tone, Dwight asked, "Where's the clitoris?"
Evelyn slapped a hand over her mouth. Her eyes widened in surprise. She could picture Toby's face. "On a website, it said at the crest of the labia. What does that mean?" She squeezed her eyes closed, using every ounce of her strength to not make a sound. Dwight sounded so broken over this. "What does the female vagina look like?"
She could hear the familiar creak of Toby's chair as he swiveled. "Um," he began, swallowing, "this probably isn't the best place to ask. If you'd like to... discuss this further, we can talk in a more private place. Specifically away from our female co-workers."
She could picture Dwight tensing. She sniffed, scrubbing her hand away from her face. How had Dwight not known? Did he not take sex education in school? There was a pause before his voice was heard again.
"Evelyn," he stated, his tone firm. She sighed, cracking a smile to herself. "Hi, Dwight," she replied. He stood once more and approached the wall. Instead of rounding it, he stood on his tiptoes to peer over it. "Do not tell anyone about this," he demanded. She lifted her hand to her mouth and zipped it closed, tossing the imaginary key.
His eyes narrowed. Little did he know, she meant to keep that promise. Sure, she loved to pick on him. And, of course, they had their differences. But she wasn't a monster. His secret was safe with her.
rumi says . . . surprise chapter for my birthday!! im really loving this book & the love you guys have shown for evie & jim is unbelievable. thank you so, so much for the comments and votes, and just joining me on this journey.
how are you guys enjoying the book so far? any predictions for how this season'll go?
thank you for reading! feedback is greatly appreciated!
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