SIMPHIWE SHANDU THE HUSBAND

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Arriving home, I read the letter over and over again. Some phrases I did not understand, and some statements left me confused. I can feel his emotions in this letter. The hurt I am feeling right now.  Simphiwe went to go fetch my father. I need him more than anything at this point. He has been gone for too long. Another thing – I don’t know how to react towards my kids. I haven't held them since I have come back from the hospital and I am yet pregnant again for a man that never truly loved me! I hear his car pulling over. I start crying all over again. I stand up and rush out of the guest room where Jele’s ashes are being kept. I just want my father's warm embrace. I miss him holding me and telling me that everything will be okay. There he is my one and only father. 
“Iza ngane yami.” He opens his arms and gives me the warmest hug. My father's hugs have always been warm. So, this is not new to me. He tells me to sit down. 
“How have you been. I was worried sick about.” he asks, holding my hand firmly. I take a deep breath and lean my head towards his shoulder. 
“I don’t know what to do now. I am just hurt. Confused.” I respond. He nods his head and smiles. 
“Talk to me Nana.” 
“I lost the man I love baba.” I say with sobs leaving my mouth. Simphiwe imminently excuses himself. 
“Mkhwenyana is here nje.” I think my father is confused. I shake my head no. 
“No, him, but the father of my children.” 
"What makes you think that it is okay to spew nonsense Infront of your husband?” I knew my father wouldn’t understand. If only my mother was here maybe she would have understood. What is the point of talking to him when he doesn’t regard my feelings. 
“I want to leave Simphiwe.” I blurt out. 
“Are you sure?” My father asks. 
“Yes, I am sure. I am just tired of everything. I want to start my life afresh – away from this drama.” I say. My father takes a deep and keeps quiet for a while. 
“A wise man once advised his daughter and said. Problems will always come up it’s just how you handle them when they do come your way. Just remember, happiness is a choice and different relationships or marriage can only contribute to your happiness. Happiness is something you have to find within yourself or else you will find yourself searching for the wrong kind of love that isn’t unconditional. My question is are you ready to leave your marriage, husband instead of fighting for it?” 
“My mind Is made up dad. I want out.” 
“If you say so.” That’s it. It's time to go pack my bags and leave once and for all. 

BAGQIBILE 

This morning I have been feeling under the weather. My whole body is exhausted. I think it is because of the effects from that rain days ago. My temperature is not stable. At night it is on skyrocket and during the day it’s normal. Thabo insisted on taking me to the doctor. I know he is being dramatic. I do have flu medication at home with me. I am nurse and I always nurse myself back to health. The doctor has been withdrawing blood from my system and he took it to the LAB. We are waiting for the results. 
“You good?” Thabo asks with his index finger brushing my arm.
“Yea I’m good just a bit tired.” He smiles. I don’t know what’s funny in what I said. The doctor comes back holding a file with a huge smile on his face. He sits down and opens the file... 
“Miss.” 
“Yes.” I know from his smile that I am okay. It's flu, nothing else. 
“Congratulations. You are four months pregnant.” He says and pushes the results towards me. How did I not see this coming? I look at Thabo and he is proudly smiling. I am just shocked. He holds my hand and assures me that he will be here every step of the way. 

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“I still can't believe I am pregnant again out of wedlock.” All my peers are married and popping kids for their husbands. 
“Who said we will not get married?” He asks. My phone rings and I see my father's name flashing on the screen. My heart skips a bit. Does he really have to call me today right after I've just heard shocking news about my life. I am about to be a mother for a second time with another man! Imagine how disanointed he will be. 
“Baba.” I softly greet. 
“Come home now!” Just like that he drops the call without even telling me what the barking is about. I tell Thabo to take me home and he agrees. Arriving home, I find everyone seated. I don't know whether to greet and sit down or stand until I'm being told to sit 
“Gqibi mntanami.” That is my mother. Tears blind my vision as she takes stride towards me. 
“Mama.” We collide in one another's arms with just sniffs and deep breaths. I never realized how much I have missed my mother. I missed her so badly that I was too blind and stupid to realize it. She tells me to sit and I sit next to her, I can feel my heart beating rapidly. 
“Where is that man of yours?” That is how my father greets me? I believe he might still be hung up on Simphiwe. I have long moved on. 
“I broke up with him.” I respond by playing with my fingers. 
“How can you leave a man that wants your hand in marriage?’
“Huh?” I tilt my head up and look at my father. 
“Ngisho lomfana wakwaZulu. Why do you like...” Thabo knocks on the door. He has my rining phone. My father broadly smiles when his eyes land on Thabo. 
“This stupid daughter of mine says she broke up with you.” Now I am more confused. What does my father mean?
“Not in a million years.” Thabo responds.
“Let's go have a man's chat. Let's leave the women alone.” My father stands up and they both walk out. I look at my mother with curiosity written all over. 
“That young man was here some time ago to ask for your hand in marriage.” My mother spills the beans. I am still trying to digest the news. I blink rapidly in shock. I look at my sister and she smile looking at me. I feel my stomach growling in hunger. Thabo sent a letter to my parents without my acknowledgement. I want to scream my lungs, but I don’t want to disappoint him or my family. I smile as confused as I am. 
Spending time with my family brought a lot of happiness to me. When was the last time my father gave me a hug? Let alone tell me that he loves me. As a parent I understand where he comes from. I was basically helping Simphiwe to cheat on his wife. I made another woman cry while I was sleeping on her husband's chest. My father made me understand all that. Now that my eyes are open. I don’t wish Thabo to cheat on me. I didn’t know how much it breaks one woman. I need to send a text to Simphiwe’s wife and apologies sincerely. I want a message that will come from the dept of my heart. I still have her numbers. My stupid head was convinced that one day we would be sister wives. That is how I still her number from Simphiwe’s phone. My father wants Sizi back home and he said something like apologizing to her that he turned his back on her. I am happy with how everything is turning out. My life is just peaceful, and I love every bit of it. What amazes me is how the relationship between Thabo and Simphiwe has blossomed. None the less, we all respect each other. 

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We are driving back home to his house. I just can't believe that this is my life. It’s like I am living a dream. A Bagqibile’s dream for that matter. 
“Are we not moving too fast?” I ask him. He is so focused on the road. One hand on the steering wheel and another hand clasped with mine. This has become his habit lately and I am loving every bit of it. Being treated like a queen is the best. 
“For me, no. You make me happy. You make my kids happy. I don’t want to waste any more time. You are just my perfect rib.” He says, it makes me blush. Did I mention that me and the kids have been introduced formally. I am still being called aunt. I am not going to rush them. It will come from their hearts to call me mother. “I don’t want you looking at other men.” He says making to raw in laughter. I look at him and he looks back at me. The love seems to be growing too strong and I am afraid of the unknown. 
“Maka Spookies.” 
“What the hell.” It’s the love I have for these damn chips. He better not call my child by that monster's name! 

NOZIMANGA 

I read the text over and over again. Bagqibile – one of Simphiwe’s baby mama sent me a text apologizing and apparently, she is getting married, and she will send me an invitation. She will be delighted if we get to show up with the person that happens to be now my ex-husband, but no divorce papers signed. I close my phone and sigh. I packed my belongings and left that house that is crowded with his babies. What is upsetting is that he did the DNA test behind my back, and he hid it from me. Yes, my kids are not the same father, and my father is disappointed in me. Two wrongs don’t make right. His words are still ringing in my head. It's been a whole month with me living in my father's house. I am failing, I miss him each day pass. My fear is what if he had decided to move on and find someone else. I still love him, and it hurts. Right now, I just want to be next to him. He sent me documents of his Pharmacy opening soon. I am proud of him no lies. I also decided to dust myself and do what I love most. Designing clothes. I thank Jele for taking me out of my boxx. I look at his picture and smile. I sometimes believe that he was brought into my life for a reason. A knock on my door. 
“Come in.” My father walks in carrying my kids. They have grown and they look so different. You can never tell that they are twins. I smile and place the picture aside. My father glares at it and sighs. 
“The kids are hungry.” He says. I know they are full, granny fed them earlier on. “Have you talked to your husband?” He asks sitting beside me. I shake my head no. 
“I am afaraid baba.” 
“Of what?” 
“What if he has moved on?” I ask. 
“There is only one way to find out.” He says and looks sharply at me. 

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I am driving like a maniac in the middle of the night. I couldn’t sleep. My heart and soul are driving me insane. His house – our home seems too far. I press on the accelerator. The lights are off. It’s too early for him to sleep. I left the kids behind, and Gogo was delighted to babysit. I still have my keys. I open the gate using the remote and drive my car inside. I close the gate and step out of the car with my heart hammering in full speed. My weight hasn't rocked up yet, but I am better compared to other days. With my shaky hands I open the door – switch the kitchen lights on. The house is so dirty with every dish flying around. Where is the nanny? I stop on my tracks when is see him seated on the couch. So, he was sitting in the dark. He lifts his head up and looks at me. His eyes are bloody red shot. He looks shocked to see me. He stands up, he has lost so much weight. 
“B... Babe...” He makes his mouth into a thin line. I throw myself in his arms with him catching me in the process. I have missed him so bad that my heart ached. We both cry in each other's arms. 
“I still love you.” I say. 
“I never stopped and never will.” He says pulling out of the hug. He smiles briefly. 
“Are you back?” He asks. 
“For good.” 
“I promise, no more cheating. I will never introduce that devil in our marriage ever again.”
“No more cheating.” I repeat after him. 
“Marry me again. This time around no vows will be broken.” 
This is it. My joy and happiness. I don’t see my life with any other man other the man called Simphiwe Shandu The Husband.  
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THE END