𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐃𝐈𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐖𝐀𝐘| Beth Greene| Cyndie

LXIV. 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧

Don't do it.

"At the hospital?" Negan went on, his grin getting wider.

Don't fucking do it.

He leaned in close to him now as Austin held his breath. "After your little girlfriend got her brains blown out?"

No turning back now, Austin's fist collided with Negans jaw so hard he heard a faint crack. Weather it was from Negans jaw of his hand, he wasn't sure because he couldn't feel anything between the anger he'd radiated.

"You don't get to talk about her!" Austin yelled at him as Negan took the faint stumble, his men immediately on Austin's and had a gun to his head. But, like the punch, he didn't even react to it. No one was allowed to talk about Beth, it was too hard. But, especially not him. Not after taking Glenn, he didn't get to talk about another death that practically killed him.

"Easy." Negan warned his men with a laugh. "Think about what I told you, Austin. I think i'm gonna see you soon."

He walked away with a grin, his men shoving Austin toward Carl while Negan patted Daryl on the back and pulled him away with him. He was talking about his offer for Austin to take Daryl's place, also walking away to make sure his jaw didn't crack at how hard the punch was. When Austin got in back in the car, he knew something was wrong with his hand.

"You could have gotten yourself killed." Carl spoke as his brother took a breath, grabbing the cloth from the glovebox. "Do you even care? Do you want to die?"

"Carl." Austin warned him as he wipped the blood from his busted knuckle. "I don't wanna hear it."

"I'm serious. Because based on what you just did, it seems like you do!" he rose his voice as Austin pulled out of the place fast. "What'd he even say to you?"

"What the hell were you thinking?" Ausrin turned the conversation around on him now with the same tone. "You wanna talk about me? You shot his men! You don't think he's gonna want more payback now?"

"Because i'm sick of no one doing anything! We have no beds, Glenn's is dead!" Carl yelled back. "I'm loosing you."

He was, they both felt it.

Austin didn't want to yell at him anymore, he felt bad. Carl was the most important thing to him. He always had been. He was his little brother, he loved him. Loved him more then he loved either of his parents, Beth, Glenn, his family. He loved him the most, Carl always knew that. To say he felt like he was loosing him hurt Austin more then he ever imagined it would. His hands gripped the stirring wheel. "You're not loosing me."

"Yeah, I am." Carl didn't yell anymore either, but he was sick of hiding from the truth. "I loose you a little more every time this happens to you."

"Carl, you don't understand." Austin hoped he'd never understand, hoped he'd never have to feel the way Austin did each time something bad happens.

"I lost you just a little when Mom died." he went on, turning to stare at the side of his face as he drove. "I lost you more when Beth died. And even more when Glenn died. I keep loosing parts of you and eventually i'm not gonna have you anymore. If Negan stays alive, he's gonna take someone else and I can't loose you for a fourth time. I need you."

He was slammed against the dash when Austin hit the breaks hard, putting the car in park.

He turned and stared as his brother. His baby brother. "You really feel that way?"

"Yeah." Carl said back, rubbing his face from where it hit just now. "And I know you can't help it, I know that it's just what happens. But, you change more and more. And when I feel like i'm getting you back, it happens again."