𝐈'𝐋𝐋 𝐃𝐈𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐖𝐀𝐘| Beth Greene| Cyndie

LX. 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐢 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡?

۫ ּ ִ ۫ ˑ ֗ 𓏲˖ 𑁍 ࣪ ִ ۫ ּ ִ ۫ ˑ ֗
࣪𓏲ּ ֶָ  ✩◿𝓘𝓓𝓐◸ 🂱 ࣪𓏲ּ ֶָ
CHAPTER SIXTY—
haven't i given enough?

tw: suicidal thoughts and slight self harm.

Austin stabbed those walkers like his life depended on it.

Natalie needed to go to school so she'd gone back, leaving him out there to finally let that anger out. He didn't have to worry about scaring her, he could do whatever he wanted. He yelled out when he stabbed those walkers, loosing his knife and resulting in shoving their heads against the tree barks. He huffed with each hit, over and over again. The way it's head bashed in, turning into nothing, made him see flashes of Glenn laying there right behind him.

Austin fell back and hit the ground with a deep exhale, a shaky one as he held onto the side of his head. It kept replaying, it didn't stop. It never stopped, it was on an endless loop. The sight, the sound of bones cracking, the feeling of his blood and brain slinking all over him. Austin pulled his knees up and held onto his head tightly, rocking slightly as he squeezed his eyes shut. "Stop it. Stop it. Stop it."

"Stop what?" Glenn asked, sat infront of him. He didn't look the way he did in the infirmary last night, half his face was bashed in and he was bleeding.

Austin exhaled as he hit himself in the head over and over. "Go away. Go away."

His eyes opened, staring at the space Glenn was just seconds before and found it empty. He exhaled in relief, but didn't feel much better. He looked up at the sky, the sunrise only making the sky a blue shade that illuminated all over Alexandria. He stared at that stupid sky and shook his head, his eyes getting heavy and filling with stupid fucking tears again. When did it end? When was it over? Hadn't he given enough?

Clearly not.

"Fuck!" he yelled out into the sky and squeezed his knife hard in his hand, the blade piercing his palm as the bright red blood poured into the sand. He didn't feel it at first, not until he let the knife go and the wind hit the open wound. He stood up with a deep inhaled, feeling a hand on his shoulder. He knew the touch, making him shut his eyes and shake his head. "Get out of my head."

"Don't think that's possible." Glenn spoke from behind him.

"What else do you want from me?" he cried out and spun around with wide, large eyes. He was yelling, yelling so loud that he didn't even care if someone heard him shouting at someone only he could see. "I don't know what to do! I don't know anything anymore! I didn't protect you, and now you're dead. You're dead, and i'm here all alone without you! I don't know what else there is to do!"

"You think I want something from you?" Glenn stared at him in the face. "I think you know why i'm here."

"What? To tell me i'm insane? To tell me to stop seeing you? I've tried!" Austin pointed to himself as he laughed and threw his hands up, those stupid fucking tears falling and reddening up his face even more.