Living Nightmare | m.y.g (angst/smut)

Continuation from Prev Chapter

Yoongi is a guy who has so many ambitions. He is the type to execute his plans without allowing others to get in the way.

Until one day, I met him. Everything comes into a blur. My identity, my feelings, my attitude, it all changes. There is no part of me which stayed the same.

I hoped for his love, but he wouldn't give it because it's not a part of his plan. What has planned must be done even if it takes to undergo suffering. He wouldn't care.

Loving Yoongi is a living nightmare.

I realized,

"Dreams do come true but I didn't know that nightmares are dreams too."

•••

The moment I went out of the gate, I felt the urge to step back. To return inside because of an unknown drive that pulls me to come back. I imagine Yoongi back in his room. Crying in pain, suffering from loneliness. What will happen if I leave him?

I love him so much I don't want to leave him in great grief. I stared at the house one more time.

"Min Yoongi."

Yoongi's mom's car came. My skin started to feel a little bit colder. It trembles as the wind blows, even more, cutting my skin. Tears were falling down from my eyes as the car comes nearer.

What now? Go back or not?

I still have five seconds to decide, the car still have five seconds duration before halting in front of me.

Go back.

Or not?

Nicole, you decide.

I turned back again. And this time, I trembled in great surprise. I had goosebumps. I can hardly breathe the moment I saw Yoongi's figure behind the curtain, staring right at me.

Anger and loneliness fight over inside me. I want to hug him but it's too late. I don't deserve his love. He doesn't want me in the first place anyway. He wants Minju. And it's possible. People can love several person at the same time as long as they like. If it wasn't because of conscience, they wouldn't simply have second thoughts doing it.

I froze in place. I was just looking back at him the entire moment. And he's looking at me too.

Beep-beep.

"Auntie."

I'm aware of his stare. I could feel the weight of it even if there is a glass that blocks in between the contact.

His plan was the barrier. And he wouldn't exactly tell me why. I understand I wasn't a part of it. But as the person he loves,

"I love you," I remembered him utter those incredible words in my ears. The moment he said it, it washed away the sorrow that I'm feeling.

You love me Yoongi, I'm not stupid for not feeling and noticing that. But no, that isn't right. Minju will fight for you too. And you're allowing yourself to be tied to her for I don't know until when and for what reason.

I love you as much as I want you to feel how much I care for you. But Yoongi, please know that I have my own emotions too. Considering I have a conscience.

I moved to open the car door. I threw my bag inside and looked back at him one more time.

My heart felt a hint of ache when I saw him slid his curtain close, which signals the end of us.

Living Nightmare
© April 2015