Once Upon An Assassination Attempt || Kamisato Ayato

Chapter 25 | Tranquility

"What happened?"

"My.. family had been killed. No one was left alive. I became an assassin to get revenge on those that killed them over a power struggle. I was struggling to get by as a kid left alone, and that's when I found a group of kids like me. We looked after each other, even after I joined the fatui. If one of us found a home, we would forget each other, so that the one that found a home would be happy. That was the pact we had.

"Most of the older kids found homes, and I would send money to those that remained. They were like family, but during a long snowstorms in snezhnaya, while I was in Liyue, they all.."

The memories came back as clear as a blue sky. The day I returned with gifts for them, to tell them about the places I'd travelled to. I had been looking forward to the usual "welcome home" I had gotten every time I came back. Their smiles and laughter.

But that day was colder and brutal than any snowstorm. I couldn't find them anywhere in the house, and when I had heard of them being kicked out because of an unreasonable higher-up, I had gone to search. I didn't think of the worst.

I didn't think that I'd have to dig them out from the snow, trying to warm them up to no avail. No matter how much I tried, not even one survived. They were all cold. Colder than the snow, colder than the ice; lifeless.

The vivid memory of the five year old Ivanov's little red gloves on the snow still haunt me. The small present they had wrapped for me for my birthday, that laid casted out on the snow. The cake that was still on the table.

"They.. died. They died in the cold because they got chased out of the house by rich high society pests. They said they were doing me a favour." I scoffed. "And then the missions I took on became more dangerous, I killed more people. People that deserved hell, but it was still essentially killing. I became a machine for the fatui. Only to kill."

"And then?"

"Then I met you. I had been thinking of leaving the fatui after I had.. assassinated you, but I'm here now instead. And I know I don't deserve the kindness and warmth you bring. I've never belonged anywhere. I'm so used to the senseless slaughter that I can't for a moment imagine- imagine staying. And it makes me scared that I'll forget about all the people who died because of me."

There was silence after that, and in the dim light of the small crystal plants, I couldn't make out the expression on his face. I felt him pull me into his arms again. I had never thought of being this vulnerable infront of someone, but here we are.

"Stop hugging me," I said, without any attempt to separate myself.

He started patting me on the head, his hands warm.  "Stop it."

"No."

"Stop making me feel like you care."

"I do care about you, Sora. You've been so strong all this time. It's okay to not be all the time. When you're with me, you don't have to be. I want you to be happy."

I didn't know why I cried. Maybe it was because of the way he said it, or the way he felt so warm despite the cold. But in that moment, being held by Kamisato Ayato made me feel like I'd finally come home.

"I've killed people."

"I have as well."

"I'm -"

"No matter what you think, Sora, you're now part of the Kamisato clan. You belong with us."

I didn't know what to say. What do you say to someone that offers you a place with friends, with family, a place you belonged?

"Is that okay?" I looked away, unsure.

He chuckled. "Of course it is. And no one can complain about it to me."

"Of course not, Yashiro Commissioner."

He was everything I wasn't. Kind, warm, and so simply beautiful of a person. "Commissioner, you're like the tranquility in the middle of destruction. When I'm with you, everything else fades away. You're vibrant in my monotonous world void of colours."

I was rambling now. I really needed to stop, but the words kept pouring out like a waterfall. "I guess what I'm trying to say is.."

I've fallen, commissioner. I've fallen for you. Inevitably, desperately in love with you; so much that each moment with you is a memory I'll carry with me more preciously than my life.

".. I'm.. thank you, commissioner. Thank you."

We stayed like that for a while, before we heard someone cry outside.

"Did you guys get buried? Don't leave MEEee alone. "

"Ah it's Lu Wei," I groaned.

"Should we ignore him?"

All too soon, I was aware of the intimacy of the situation. I backed away, and my head hit the ice.

What expression was I making now?

"We- we should get going. He's gonna cry a river otherwise."

I couldn't see his face, but he stood up.

"Hm. Let's find a way out."

*************************

And then I turned around to see him. Something was wrong. His face...

Lmao jk no faceless Ayato here.