SIMPHIWE SHANDU THE HUSBAND

VIOLET

Been here just for hours and I am not being well taken care of. The service is just beyond crazy. I am a first-degree aid, and a top priority. I have been burns in the most sensitive spots ever and I need serious attendance not some student attendance. These students are very rude, and they think they own this world. I should be in Netcare Parklands Hospital or even Ascot Park Hospital. But Mkhuseli is playing hero in Mkhuleko’s money. Since they left me in the morning – they haven't bothered to check up on me and I find that very strange. It’s like they were happy to just throw me here and move on with their lives. I need real food and not this tasteless food. 
“You haven't eaten?” What did I say about the students' nokuphapha? 
“Yes, I will not eat this. It's not healthy for my daughter.” I retort. I no longer want to be here. If only they get to spend a day in a hospital bed. They would know how it feels like. 
“Okay. Suit yourself then Miss.” She takes the food and passes to another bed. I really don’t care if they starve me to death. But what I know is I am not eating this food. Everything about this hospital is just upsetting me. I miss the old me. If I remember correctly. I used to be a calm girl. I don’t recognize this monster I have become. I feel tears blinding my vision. 
“I have been told that you are starving yourself.” That is Mkhuseli. I look behind him and that mosquito is not around. I am grateful for his presence.
“I just hate hospital food. Lord knows I tried but it doesn’t go down.” I am on the verge of crying. No one seems to understand me. I am feeling pains of burns and hunger. He puts the paper bag on top of the cabinet. 
He clears his throat. “How is the...? Will it be treated?” I want to laugh. 
“I don’t know. I wish I could see it. But the doctors said it’s a second degree burnt.” He nods his head and takes a deep breath looking around. He looks around and you can tell that he is not conformable at all. Everyone here is just sleeping with butts out, virginals in the opening. Some screaming and clinging onto beds and some walking up and down like mad people. That is why I hated government hospitals. They make us march like soldiers. I thank the burns I have. I am relaxed with my knees up and legs wide apart with the sheets in between. I will never use this stupid no hair ever again. I wonder if my nuna will ever heal from this. 
“Look, I have to go.” Just like that he dashes out. I believe that Mkhuseli is very weird from Mkhuleko. Mkhuseli is much calmer reserved and very chilled. Vey quiet and loving. Ay cha uyasithanda isihlwibi sakhe shame. As for Mkhuleko. He is forever chewing on his inner mouth. Clenching his jaws and always looking for trouble where it is. I don’t understand Mkhuleko honestly. He doesn’t want to change for the good ways. If he doesn’t change then I am afraid he will not get to see his child. 

I am looking for on the side in shame with the nurses cleaning my private part,
“Looks like you will heal sooner than we expected.” She says taking her gloves off. I was even afraid to make a sound. I had to muffle my screams innerly. 
“When will I go home?” I ask. She takes a deep breath. 
“The doctor will have to see you first. I noticed some spotting form underneath. Did that happen often?” She asks. I frown trying to remember when the last spotting happened. 
“About a day ago.” She nods her head and begins writing on a piece of paper. I am beginning to think that there might be something wrong. “Is there something wrong with my baby?” I ask. 
“The doctor will do tests on you. Then we will conduct whether there is something wrong with the baby or not.” 
“Okay.” My world immediately shuts down. Come to think of it. I have been pregnant ever since approaching the tenth month now and still I haven't given birth. Sometime later I see a doctor making his way towards my bed and I can feel my heart beating abnormally. I didn’t sign up for this, honestly. He reads through the file and briefly looks at me without saying a word. 
“Take her to the examination room.” He instructs. 
I want to ask the doctor some questions about, within the blink of an eye he is not in sight. I feel my stomach shrink. I swear I am about to give birth. I can't stand this trauma I face daily. One minute it's this and the next it's that. When will I ever get rest and peace through this heavy pregnancy? 

Later that day I was told that the doctor was ready to examine me. I don’t want to lie. I am scared about everything now. Now that I think about it deeply it's really affecting me. I am wheeled out of the ward I was in. I don’t know where I am being taken to. I am being pushed by this long holloway buried deep in thoughts.
“Don’t think too much about it. I’m sure it's nothing that serious.” With a baby in my stomach, everything is serious. I decided to keep white and not engage. My chest is burning. I rub my chest. Heart-related pain feels deep in the chest, as opposed to on the surface. It’s difficult to pinpoint the exact location of heart-related pain. The doctor moves his hands and palpates down the abdomen. I flinch. That right there was painful. He stopped and examined my face. 
“When I touch you, where does it hurt the most?” He asks. 
“On the side.” 
“There are two ways to do an ultrasound during pregnancy — through the skin on your abdomen, or through the inside of your vagina. This time around looks like we will do it inside your Virgina.”
My eyes grow wide. I can’t. “I can’t. I am hurt down there.” I respond trying not to sound too emotional.”
“We will give you something to numb the pain.” 
I am told to get on the bed. Without care he opens my legs apart and begins by injecting me. It stings but quickly became numb. After that I don’t know what he was doing. I last remember hearing the sound of a faint heartbeat.