Against All Odds

Chapter 10

My heart splintered, my chest muscles tensing with a poignant ache that threatened to buckle my knees. I staggered, leaning my shoulder against the wall, and shook my head- the motion so weak it was largely ineffectual. "We'd be crazy to do this," I managed to croak.

I don't know if it was my final attempt to at least pretend I had any more resistance left to throw at a battle I wasn't confident I could win, but I knew I had to at least put it out there between us.

And Killian nodded once, his hooded gaze switching from my face to trail lingering glances over my body. There was heat there, in the way his eyes burned, in the way he licked his bottom lip with the tip of his tongue.

Finally, his eyes returned to mine. "Yes," he agreed softly. "We would."

***

Returning to the others left little opportunity to openly converse with Killian about the moment we had shared at the bar, and I wasn't sure that can of worms needed revisiting, in any event. Our friends were jovial, conversing merrily about the table, a friendly argument emerging over what we should have for dinner.

The sun was setting, the magnificence of the twilight hour emblazoning the sky in a myriad of pinks and purples that stretched towards evening. The heat of the day was slowly cooling, and I made the most of the hour to make one more final use of the jacuzzi for the day.

My mother had always lamented the fact that I had been an irrepressible 'waterbaby', often struggling and nagging me for hours to get out of the pool when I was young. I could spend hours in the water- no matter the source- and it appeared that nothing much had changed in me as an adult. Even if nobody joined me, I hardly minded. Besides, the tub was close enough to the others that if I wanted to, I could easily be part of the conversation.

And have uninterrupted viewing pleasure of Killian as he sat directly across from me, gilded in the dim light emitted by the patio sconces against the wall of the house, though why I couldn't seem to pull my gaze from him for more than a few moments puzzled and disturbed me no end.

Anyway, it wasn't every day that I had access to a private jacuzzi and I had learnt over the last several years to make the most of the opportunities afforded to me.

Grab life by its big hairy balls.

My drink and my phone were safe on the dry, flat ledge of the jacuzzi as I sank into the bubbling, warm water, which is why I was able to discern the exact moment the device buzzed with a notification. After shaking my hands dry for a bit, I grabbed my phone and flicked the notification open.

Killian: I am sorry, maybe I am making things more complicated than they should be.

Great, so we were doing this. I glanced at him surreptitiously, noting that he was saying something to Sipho. I internally groaned. Killian was always the sort to want to talk things over, to smooth things out with rationality and reason even if awkwardness prevailed. And I certainly felt awkward and unsure- edged with no small amount of anticipation, sure- about what happened between us.

So I typed out a quick response, hoping he'd leave the matter alone afterwards.

Apology not necessary. I understand- thank you for your honesty.

Killian: I have to ask, what do you want between us? If anything.

God damn this man. I frowned vehemently at the screen, then relaxed my face as I became aware that he could probably watch every nuance of my reaction if he desired. I raised my gaze, finding him indeed doing just that, and my skin sizzled at the realisation. There was such intensity in the way he was looking at me, especially how the shadows of the dusk seemed to hug and accentuate the contours of his handsome face. Were he in the tub with me right now, I couldn't be sure that I wouldn't be tempted to slide into his lap, wrap my arms about his broad shoulders, press my breasts into his chest-