The Last We Fell

21. 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔰𝔱 ℭ𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔯𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫

It's been a week and some since I've been assigned to Rey as a caregiver. Whatever possessed Dr. Rowanda to think that I am the perfect candidate for this task, I can't tell, but so far it's not looking promising. Rey had a reputation as a disaster child in these quarters. There is no incident that has transpired in the last couple of years of which he wasn't the instigator, or hasn't been a big part of. Though I could take the smaller wins in life and be proud about the fact that he hasn't started anything under my watch yet. I have arrived to the conclusion that he is either simply tired and completely uninterested in me, or, for some mysterious reason, he is behaving himself on purpose. Either way, I can count the number of words he has spoken to me so far on one hand, and from a therapy point-of-view, that defied the entire point.

Sitting quietly on a sunny patch of grass facing him, he remained unmoved in his shaded spot hidden under the willow tree. His earphones drummed up a distant beat that seemed to have helped him doze off while I was asking routine questions to no avail. I wonder what makes a seventeen year old boy look like he'd lived and seen it all, like he no longer believes in the good of people. Had I been anyone else, I probably would look the other way and await the end of my shift in peace, but having observed him for some time now, I could feel my curiosity peak, and unfortunately somewhere, somehow, I could glimpse a familiar part of me in the way he guards himself. I've had times too where all I wanted was to close my eyes and tune out the entire world, pretend all was well, that if I couldn't see or hear whatever it is, then it didn't happen- it didn't exist. All I knew of this kid was that his family put him here after he got out of juvenile and kept acting out. Some parents think they can wash their hands off of their children when they don't act the way they want them to. Some don't notice nor care about the fact that nobody starts acting the way Rey does without a reason or a goal in mind. 

He pulled out a cigarette and a lighter -God knows where he got them from- and started casually smoking, still treating me like I'm invisible. I decided to discard the withdrawn systematic approach and throw caution to the wind like I seemed to resort to with these kids. I never pretended to be good at my job anyway. I moved myself to sit beside him and carefully pulled his earphones out, earning what could only be described as a death glare, and it looked every bit as menacing as he intended. There is no predicting what this kid would do. Just like dealing with a wounded animal, he required a lot of patience... except that mine, on this particular day, was worn thin.

"We have beaten around the bush for enough time now don't you think?" I sighed, leaning back on the hard tree trunk. "You can smoke if you want. You can pretend everybody around you doesn't exist, but, Rey, things don't magically disappear because you wish it." 

He narrowed his hazel eyes at me.

"Hardly any one of these kids you see are here of their own will. You think all the trouble you stir up will amount to something? It's kind of cute how you're trying your best to get expelled, but I hate to break it to you, all you're doing is extending your stay." I tilted my head to look at his profile. He seemed to be listening, which is a start. "I'll lay out the facts: your choices are meager. Either you ace this big test with flying colors and make your stay short and pleasant for you and those around you, or you'll be stuck here until you turn eighteen with possible repercussions that might affect your life negatively afterwards. You're a sharp guy Rey so I won't baby you. You know damn well that your current behaviour will get you nowhere."

He lifted a thick brow at me, perhaps surprised by my audacity, or wondering when the hell I'm going to shut up.

"My point is," I stomped on the cigarette butt he threw carelessly on the grass. "Whether you want to 'improve and do better' or not, is nobody's issue but yours. None of these people here, or anywhere, can help you if you refuse to help yourself. Even if you don't like it, you can pretend to cooperate can't you? Life is not a walk in the park, you won't get what you want without a little compromise."