Intertwined

chapter thirty

AFTER THE CONVERSATION in the hospital, we don't talk about it. We don't talk at all, except for the occasional 'hi' in the hallway when we pass each other and those have been few and far between. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was avoiding me, but I try to remind myself that this won't be forever. He said he had work to do, and I know that will take time.

He can't snap his fingers and suddenly be over his issues with letting his walls down. Even if he did it so effortlessly without even realizing it. I told him I'd wait, and I will because I know at the end of the day that my heart is in his hands. I gave it over to him so completely sure he'd catch it, and I had been wrong. He didn't catch me.

He let me fall, and now I have no choice but to wait and see if he climbs down to pick me up. To fix the problems he caused when he let me slip through the cracks. I know he can, and even that he will, I just don't know when and that's what scares me.

The waiting.

"Hey!" Kayla knocks on my door, but only after she's stepped into my office as she holds our latest release in her hands. "Check this out."

My lips curl up as she holds the book out to me. I run my finger over the embossed letters on the cover and flip it open, a grin painting across my lips. "It looks great, Kayla. I can't wait for this to hit the shelves."

"I know," she says, sinking into the chair in front of my desk. "Another masterpiece all thanks to Emmy Morgan. I swear you have the magic touch."

"I don't know about that," I say. "I just know when something's worth fighting for."

"Is that why you refuse to go to the bar with me? You're still fighting for him?"

"No," I say. "I put my heart out there. It's his turn now."

"You're sure he's worth getting hurt again?"

My lips curl up into a small smile. "The things worth anything are never easy to get, Kayla. You know that better than anyone. You fought for this place."

"I barely did anything," she says.

"You fought for me."

She grins. "I bribed you with a pretty pink office and a sweet job title."

"You did more than that. I was determined I was going to live in New York my entire life and you convinced me otherwise. It was the best thing I could have asked for."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

I shrug. "Few weeks, maybe? I know he's back at work now," I say, having asked Vanessa how he was doing since I couldn't bring myself to go down the hall and ask him myself. Thankfully Vanessa never questioned me, and simply told me the truth, he was doing good. The antibiotics the doctor had given him did the trick, and he was crushing physical therapy to get back on the job. As far as I know, his first day back was last week.

I don't know if I was expecting him to be at my doorstep in a few weeks' time. For all I know, it's going to take months. Maybe even years for him to figure out what it is he wants out of us, and the twist in my stomach tells me what my heart has already been screaming at me.

I miss him.

"Hey," Kayla says, shaking me out of my head. "Where'd you go?"

"Sorry," I say. "I'm just... I'm trying to stay positive. I keep telling myself that everything's going to work out for the best, but I'm starting to worry that maybe it never will."

She smiles. "Don't these things have a funny way of working themselves out?"

"No," I say with the roll of my eyes. "These things take time, and work, and what if he realizes I'm not worth the work? What if I'm waiting for nothing?"