EK: Canem, impossible not to (A "Shorty", or...kind of)

10. No expiry date ♾️

Can grabbed her matter-of-fact face with his big hands and interrupted her with a deep frown between his eyebrows.

"Hey bebek, you're my one and only, I would never..."

Now Sanem interrupted him by putting a hand in the air between them.

"Shush, Can, just...shush! I prefer that we do not make any breakable promises, please! I told you already, this...'thing' we have will probably end one day, when one of us, or both, wants to move on and...well, 'spend time' with other people. And don't worry Can, I won't break down and die if you leave, but until that day I would appreciate sexual faithfulness, to avoid any kind of...'trouble'. Are you okey with that? Or...at least protect us by using condoms when we have sex with other..."

He silenced her with a fiery kiss, which he ended by biting down so hard on her bottom lip it made her whine. Two pairs of very dark and angry eyes met for a few moments. Sanem could see how he tried to control his rage, and when he finally did, he closed his eyes for a second and exhaled. Breathe, Can, breathe. Inhale...and exhale.

Sanem saw how his face changed from rageous to calm in no time, and she was amazed. Can was always very handsome, in any mood, but his peaceful face with a crooked smile on...wow. When he abruptly opened his eyes up again, they were calm but still very black. He gazed intently at her and cleared his throat. He was serious.

"Sanem...bebek...I love you. So much that it hurts, you know that. With all my heart, as you already know as well. And yes, I'm in love with you, and I will always be. My love does not have a 'best before' or 'expiry date', it is for life. I know I can't demand you to love me back, but...I have faith in your heart and that one day you will love me, just as I love you. With this I am trying to make you understand that I would never be with someone else, ever."

Sanem had to swallow several times to keep her tears back. Damn him. But even if he had explained why he had escaped when she was sixteen...it still hurt. And even if he declared her his eternal love...she still hesitated. Too many 'what ifs' popped up in her head. She bit down on her sore lip while she wished herself able to tell him what he really meant to her and how much she loved him back. Yeah. But no. She had a latch on her emotions, and she wasn't ready to remove it. Not yet. She could only put her tough surface on.

"Can...I don't know what to say, I...I love to be with you, to spend time and to have hot sex with you. You make me feel so...so many things! And so much! But does that mean that I love you, that I am in love with you or that I want to spend the rest of my life with you..? I don't know."

She felt like shit when she saw him do his best to blink away his tears. What the fuck was she doing? She was just about to confess her never ending love for him when he suddenly took a deep breath and met eyes with her.

"Okey, Sanem. As I said, I can't demand you to love me, just as I can't demand you to be with only me, so...I will do my best to adjust myself to what you want. And if that means that you want me to have sex, safe sex though, with others...ehem, okey. I'll try to live up to it, if that's what you really want."

No way that he would do that, uh uh, but it seemed he needed to gain some time; time needed to really make her understand what they felt for each other, to make her realize that she loved him right back and what they had was unique.

Sanem felt sick. Again, what the fuck was she doing? She would rather die than witness him being with another woman! She damned herself while she nodded at him with a fake smile on. And now what? She felt more insecure than ever when she managed to get out of his arms with grace and walked off naked towards the bathroom. She closed and locked the door behind her before she started to sob in silence. Why the hell couldn't she just let go of her fear of getting hurt again?