the feelings i have for you are long forgotten
until they're not
it's like i have to throw up
like i'm dry heaving waiting for something to come up from my heart and out of my mouth
i pushed these feelings so far away
so far down my throat i choked
i'm choking on the words i want to say
my hands are working over time
showing you my love
pushing my love into you with my actions
because my words are so far down in me
because i buried them there
because i didn't want to fall in love with you
because you are not available
because you are already someone else's
and i cannot put myself through that again
i cannot be someone's "other lover"
but i couldn't help it
i couldn't help falling for your dorky smile and your cute button nose that scrunches up when you don't like something
your stupid laugh and your stupid dimply smile
and your stupid shoulders and your stupid tall height
you are so beautiful
and you make me feel alive
i couldn't help falling for you and i'm sorry
i want you as much as i want to leave you
because i cannot fall in love with someone that doesn't love me back
i've been down that road before
so here i am now writing out my feelings because i've pushed them so far down that i need to throw them up again
these feelings will always linger
you'll always light them ablaze again
every time you touch me
you smile at me
you act like you love me
and i'm so gullible i'm so easily fooled
so of course i would love you
