i have nothing left
that feeling of searching for something out there
something that doesn't exist
is back
maybe it only appears when i hit rock bottom
maybe it's because i feel so alone
and empty
and used
and broken
i'm searching for solutions
for distractions
for fucking change
and i'm scared change won't fix things like it did before
i'm scared i won't be able to get back up
i'm scared i'm spiralling into this void again and nobody will be there to save me
i've lost everything
my will to live
my love for art and music
my best friend
she had that silver soul that nobody compared to
she was different
maybe it's because i miss her
or maybe because i was in love with her
i don't want to change
i don't want to move on without her
i don't want to be saved by anyone other than her
i want to hold her and talk to her and braid her hair,
i want to go on walks and sleep over and drink and laugh
i want to be with her
i fucked things up so bad
and i'm sure she wouldn't take me back
so now i have nothing left
and i'm searching for change.
