BEHIND A SMILING FACE

19. I've Had Enough

Forgiveness does not excuse their behaviour. It prevents it from destroying your heart.

_________________

19. I've Had Enough

“Do me a favour and pass me the pasta please Paul,” my mom said smiling across at him.

  “No problem,” he said as he handed it to her.

  “Ashlynn aren't you hungry?” Mom asked .

  “No.”

  “Not even a bit?”

   “I'm not hungry.”

  “The food tastes great Laura,” Paul spoke up.

   “Thank you.”

Is he really that dumb? Anyone could tell it was Chinese take out, my mom can't cook for shit.

   “So mom,” I began, deciding to start a bit of mischief, “What
happened to Jacob?”

   Suddenly, the atmosphere became tense, and Paul stopped eating for a bit before asking who he was.

   “Well,” she said clearing her throat, “Jacob was a mistake, a very big one, and I won't be seeing him again.”

   “Oh, really, bummer, ”I said feigning sadness , “He was so good looking and great in bed, I assume.”

   “What?” Paul asked as he choked on his food.

  “Ashlynn,” mom warned glaring at me.

A few minutes later they were back to normal conversation despite the new air of awkwardness it brought. Everything was fine and soon the dinner would have ended and I could be excused without speaking to that man, until he just had to disturb my peace.

  “Ashlynn, sweetheart, I think you should eat something,” he said.

   “Don't sweetheart me you bastard,” I said before flying up from the table.

   “Ashlynn?” My mother called out to me, “Ashlynn Frathurt get back here!”

  Iran upstairs to my bedroom in pure fury, ignoring the cries of my mother demanding me to get back here. She's such a hypocrite, expecting me to sit and have dinner with him like we were the perfect family, we were never perfect, and never will be once he's involved.

   Paul Moncrief is the most unjust, insincere man I've ever met, and I have and will always hate him with a never ending passion.

   After my mom and biological father split up, she brought him home one evening and introduced him to me as my new step dad. I thought that we were going to be a happy family again, and that everything was going to be alright, boy was I wrong.

   Initially, everything was fine. Paul would treat my mom like a good husband should, showering her daily with gifts and trinkets of love and affection. I wasn't left out the midst as he would buy me pretty hair clips, dresses and dolls - y'know the usual interests of an average ten year old. Then gradually, things took a turn for the worst.

   He would hit mom repeatedly and eventhough it was a usual action while intoxicated, it also took place when he wasn't. He would constantly tell her she was ugly and worthless, whilst shoving her into the concrete wall, or he would hold a knife to her neck whilst she got naked for him out of fear for her life, had a quick fûck, and ultimately threaten to kill her if she told anyone or if she tried to leave him.