1970

Chapter Six: May 9th, 1969

Elora's point of view:

I wake up alone. I sleep alone. I do it all alone. It only took one night with Flynn asleep by my side for me to want him there every minute of every second of every day. Now it had been two weeks since he had gone, my mother and sister were leaving today, and I was in the midst of a crises I didn't understand. Now that they were going to be leaving, I felt more alone than ever.

"Elora, must you sit here and wallow? There has to be something you want to do!" Emmaleigh said to me as she sat in my bedroom. I was lying in bed and I had been awake for nearly an hour. On a regular basis I didn't do this. I would wake up and then I'd be out of bed. But now, something was gluing me to the sheets, keeping me in my haven.

"I want to sleep, so I'm fulfilling that goal," I replied. She sighed and shook her head, moving from the chair and sitting on the foot of the bed.

"Why are you acting like this? I'm really worried. Now that mom and Lorelei are going it's just me, dad and Jacob. Do you have any idea how overbearing that is? I'm unable to tolerate men! Carina knows all about that," she replied. Right, Carina and Emmaleigh were in an easy conflict about the fact that Emmaleigh was twenty-six and she still wasn't married nor did she have a man in her life. No one else cared except her, which was why we all blocked her out most of the time.

"It doesn't matter. I just want to be by myself for a while," I replied. I didn't know how to tell her. She didn't know about how I felt about Flynn. No one in my family did. I kept quiet this whole time, since there really wasn't that much to say about it.

"Obviously there's a reason. So, tell me what's happening and I'll leave you be to drown in your sorrows," she replied. I sighed and dug my face into the pillow. I didn't want to talk about anything right now, but if it got her to leave me alone, then I would lower my standards a little.

"Flynn," I replied. Her eyes widened a little as she probably concocted many different scenarios in which he was the main topic.

"You mean, you and him?" She asked. I sat up in bed and shook my head.

"No, but there is something I feel. Do you ever get that? This feeling that the only thing I need to survive is him? It's like, everything gets thrown out the window except him. Now I don't know how to function because he's gone and I'm here. What if he doesn't come back? What if he ends up dying in battle? I don't know what I'll do," I explained. I didn't know there was so much built up within me when it came to Flynn. I didn't know I felt this much about him, but now that it was out in the open, all of it could be explained.

"No, I've never felt that before. But I'm sure if you feel it, then it exists. You know what? We're going to go out and do something tonight. You and I, that's it. We'll go dancing or have dinner," she said to me. I really didn't want to go out. I just wanted to have Flynn burst through the door and tell me he can't go back to Vietnam, that he has to stay here with me for some reason. I'd be perfectly fine if he were come and tell me I was the only thing he cared about. I hated knowing that wasn't true.

"I don't know if I'm feeling up to it," I replied. She shook her head and took my arm, holding it gently to get me out of bed.

"Elora, please. I'm so tired of everyone here basing their lives on the men they meet. Seriously, it's all of you. Mom did it, even though it worked out in the end. Carina did it, Lorelei did it and now you're doing it! Am I so alone here to think I don't need a man to be happy with myself?" She asked, frantically. I turned my head to her and glared. My life was not based on what Flynn did with his. Not a chance in hell would I let that happen!

"That's not true. I'm independent from Flynn as anyone else," I replied. She shook her head and sighed.

"No, you aren't. Look at you. You're in bed, weeping and sleeping because he's not here. What do you think that is? If you don't base your life on him, then I suggest you go out with me," she said to me. I sighed and thought about her reasoning. Maybe she was right, maybe I needed to go do something to distract myself from Flynn. He wasn't mine to mourn over, I was on my own. Maybe it wasn't all that bad to be alone? Maybe it allowed me more leeway when it came to going out and socializing? I was basing my life on Flynn, and that needed to stop.