Skater Boy & Me

Chapter 30 | Pain

"Remember, we're madly in love, so it's all right to kiss me anytime you feel like it."

- Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games, The Hunger Games, book #1

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Chapter 30 | Pain

⭐️K I R A  P O V⭐️

Dear Nobody, (because dear diary is getting old)

I'm more than scared to write about the current happenings, I'm petrified. So instead of writing about that, I'm
going to write about an even more tiring subject: Pain.

Pain demands to be felt. I guess to a certain extent the statement above is true, wether I'd like to accept it or not. Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. That though is completely true.

Everything feels numb but at the same time everything hurts

I may not be in physical pain and I'm sure some of you don't think pain exists in any other way besides physical pain.

It's said that time heals all wounds but I don't agree with that. The wounds will always remain no matter how small or big they are. In time they will become a scar and the pain lessens but it never fully goes away.

My grandfather used to say that there will always be one thing that does away with the pain, he used to say it was love because it would always remain eternal no matter what the circumstances were. I used to agree with him at some point and even though I may have some doubts, I still do.

Even though I said I wasn't going to talk about what's happening at the moment, I also said that numbing the pain causes it to become unbearable later so I guess I will talk about reality, just not now

A message to future me: You're a box, you're filled with little messages and quite a lot of junk you're to afraid to take out. Do yourself and the world a favor by opening the lid and exposing your worry, anxiety, happines, sadness and most of all wierdness.

*insert a way to end diary entry you'll never even glance at again*

After stuffing the small notebook into my bag and placing the pen I borrowed back on the table, I decide to do what I said I'd do.

I gently lift up the chair I'm sitting on in one corner of the room and pull it close to the bed in the center of the room where my fears lie.

Jace.

"Wake up soon ok. We have a lot of things we need to talk about." I whisper.

I close my eyes for a second and open them to see the soft brown eyes of Jace which stare at me.

"Hi." he says, his face deathly pale, perhaps at seeing me.

"Hi." I smile back.

"Are you really here or is the effect of the medicine?"

"No, I'm really here. This isn't the effect of any type of medicine." I stutter.

Someone get rid of this horrible awkward tension but last I checked I caused it.

"Um I'm re-" I cut Jace of by quickly saying something before he could continue.

"Don't say anything that had to do with what's happened in the past week but if you really need to say something then you can go ahead and say that you don't want to see me."